A "Temporary Gentleman" in FranceDawson, A. J. (Alec John)
History
A "Temporary Gentleman" in France
Dawson, A. J. (Alec John)
World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives, British
It's uncertain when I shall be moved, or to which base, so I cannot
give you a new address for letters. The generosity, the kindness, the
skill, and the unwearying attentiveness and consideration shown one
in this place could not possibly be improved on; but their official
reticence in the matter of giving one any information regarding one's
insignificant self, future movements, and so on, can only be described
as godlike. I shall always associate it in my mind with a smile of
ineffable benevolence (also rather godlike), as who should say, with
inexhaustible patience, "There, there, my little man; there, there."
And that's all. Perhaps it's good for us, taken, as medicine must be,
with childlike trust and faith. We must hope so.
Come to think of it, there is a hint in the gentle air of this
place--never torn by shot or shell, or penetrated by even the faintest
odour of defunct Boches in No Man's Land--of a general conspiracy
of reticence. It has infected mine own hitherto trusted batman (who
presumes to chuckle as he writes these lines at my dictation),
whose professed ignorance, regarding most points upon which I have
this morning sought information, suggests that I have in the past
consistently overrated his intelligence and general competence. It is
clearly very desirable that I should get back to my Platoon as soon as
possible.
Lying here at mine ease, I think a great deal; but of the quality
of my thinking I fear there is little to be said that is favourable.
Perhaps the medicine I take so trustfully has contained some of the
soporific stuff of dreams, and that is why the pain in my leg has been
so trifling since the first day here. I feel my thoughts stirring in
my mind; but they move in a swaying, dreamy fashion, as though they
were floating in, say golden syrup, and were not really interested
in getting out of it. I wanted to tell you all about our push, but,
do you know, though it was not very many days ago, it seems already
extraordinarily remote, so far as the details are concerned, and I am
hazy as to what I have told you and what I have not told.
One thing stands out so clearly in my otherwise treacly mind that I
feel I never, never shall forget it; and that is the sensation of
the moment when the order reached us to advance. We had been a long
time waiting for it, even before our bombardment began, and when it
came-- But, although the sensation is very clear to me, I'm not at all
sure I can convey any idea of it to you. I've just asked Lawson what he
felt like when it came; but the conspiracy of reticence, or something,
leads him to say he doesn't know. I found myself muttering something at
the moment, and he says he did, too. That's something of a coincidence.
He believes the actual words he muttered were: "What ho!" But that's
not exactly illuminating, is it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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