Egypt -- History -- 30 B.C.-640 A.D. -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English
“You, daughter of Heron, have nothing to fear from me, you of all the
world! In some quiet hour I will explain to you how my planet yearns to
yours, and yours--that is, yourself--to mine. The gods have created us
for each other, child; I am already under your influence, but your heart
still hesitates, and I know why; it is because you distrust me.”
Melissa raised her large eyes to his face in astonishment, and he went
on, pensively:
“The past must stand; it is like a scar which no water will wash
out. What have you not heard of my past? What did they feel, in their
self-conscious virtue, when they talked of my crimes? Did it ever occur
to any one, I wonder, that with the purple I assumed the sword, to
protect my empire and throne? And when I have used the blade, how
eagerly have fingers pointed at me, how gladly slanderous tongues have
wagged! Who has ever thought of asking what compulsion led me to shed
blood, or how much it cost me to do it? You, fair child--and the stars
confirm it--you were sent by fate to share the burden that oppresses
me, and to you I will ease my heart, to you I will confide all, unasked,
because my heart prompts me to do so. But first you must tell me with
what tales they taught you to hate the man to whom, as you yourself
confessed, you nevertheless felt drawn.”
At this Melissa raised her hands in entreaty and remonstrance, and
Caesar went on:
“I will spare you the pains. They say that I am ever athirst for fresh
bloodshed if only some one is rash enough to suggest it to me. You were
told that Caesar murdered his brother Geta, with many more who did but
speak his victim’s name. My father-in-law, and his daughter Plautilla,
my wife, were, it is said, the victims of my fury. I killed Papinian,
the lawyer and prefect, and Cilo--whom you saw yesterday--nearly shared
the same fate. What did they conceal? Nothing. Your nod confesses
it--well, and why should they, since speaking ill of others is their
greatest delight? It is all true, and I should never think of denying
it. But did it ever occur to you, or did any one ever suggest to you, to
inquire how it came to pass that I perpetrated such horrors; I--who
was brought up in the fear of the gods and the law, like you and other
people?”
“No, my lord, never,” replied Melissa, in distress. “But I beg you, I
beseech you, say no more about such dreadful things. I know full well
that you are not wicked; that you are much better than people think.”
“And for that very reason,” cried Caesar, whose cheeks were flushed with
pleasure in the hard task he had set himself, “you must hear me. I am
Caesar. There is no judge over me; I need give account to none for my
actions. Nor do I. Who, besides yourself, is more to me than the flies
on that cup?”
“And your conscience?” she timidly put in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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