Ely had been angered by his
departure. She had felt the same resentment with him that he had felt
with her. Chance had brought her face to face with his dearest friend,
with Pierre Hautefeuille, of whom he had so often spoken in exalted
terms. She must have decided upon revenge, upon a vengeance that
resembled her--criminal, refined, and so profoundly, so cruelly,
intelligent!--In this way Du Prat reasoned. And, although his reasoning
was only hypothetical, he felt, as he fed his mind with such thoughts, a
suffering mingled with a sort of unhealthy and irresistible satisfaction
that would have terrified him had he considered it calmly. To suppose
that Madame de Carlsberg had avenged herself upon him with such
calculation was to suppose that she had not forgotten him. The windings
in the human heart are so strange! In spite of the fact that he had
insulted his former mistress all the time they had been together, that
he had left her first, without a farewell, that he had married after due
reflection, and had resolved to keep his vows honorably--in spite of all
this, the idea that she still remembered him secretly stirred him
strangely. It must be remembered that he was just passing through one of
the most dangerous moments of conjugal existence. Every moral crisis is
complicated with a multitude of contradictory elements in souls such as
his,--souls without fixed principles, that are turned aside at every
moment by the influence of their faintest impression. Marriages
contracted through sheer lassitude, such as the one he admitted having
contracted, bring down their own punishment upon the abominable egoism
that prompts them. They have to pay a penalty worse than the most
redoubtable catastrophe. They are followed immediately by profound,
incurable weariness. The man, thirty years of age, who, thinking he is
disgusted forever with sensual passions, and who, mistaking this disgust
for wisdom, settles down, as the saying is, quickly finds that those
very passions that sickened him are as necessary to him as morphine is
to the morphine maniac who has been deprived of his Pravaz syringe, as
necessary as alcohol is to the inebriate put upon a _régime_ of pure
water. He suffers from a species of nostalgia, of longing for those
unhealthy emotions whose fruitlessness he has himself recognized and
condemned. If a brutal but very exact comparison can be borrowed from
modern pathology, he becomes a favorable medium for the cultivation of
all the morbid germs floating in his atmosphere. And at the very moment
when everything seems to point to the pacific arrangement of their
destiny, some revolution takes place, as it was doing in Olivier,--a
revolution so rapid, so terrible, that the witness and victims of these
sudden wild outbursts are left almost more disconcerted than despairing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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