"Since you hate me enough to have thought of such a brutal vengeance,"
he cried, cruelly, savagely, "since you longed to make me jealous of him
through you, enjoy your work.--Look at it.--You have succeeded."
"Spare me, spare me!" cried Ely. "Oh, God! do not talk like that!"
His sudden outburst, the strange betrayal of his feelings, even in her
suffering, made her shudder. With a mingled feeling of indescribable
terror and pity she had a glimpse into another secret recess in the
heart of the tortured being who, during a half hour of mortal anguish,
had insulted, humiliated, despised, then had understood, accepted,
justified, pitied, and who now cursed her. She had felt, as she listened
to Pierre's confidences on the subject of his friend, that a reflux of
loathing sensuality still seethed in her former lover's heart. She saw
it now. And she also saw that a deep, true passion had always lived,
palpitated, germinated under his sensuality, under his hate. His passion
had never developed, grown, put forth its blossom, because she had never
been the woman he sought, the woman he yearned for, the woman he felt
was in her. Thanks to the miracle worked by love for another, she had
now become the woman he desired. What a martyrdom of suffering for the
unhappy man! Forgetting her fears and inspired only by a movement of
compassion, she said:--
"What! rejoice in your grief?--Think of my vengeance yet. Did you not
feel how sincere I was, what shame I feel at ever having conceived such
a hideous idea? Did you not see how bitterly I loathe, how I regret my
life at Dome? Do you not feel that my heart bleeds at the sight of your
suffering?"
"I am very grateful for your pity," interrupted Olivier.
His voice suddenly became dry and cold. Was he trying to recover his
dignity? Was he wounded by her womanly pity, a pity that is humiliating
when given in place of love? Was he afraid of saying too much, of
feeling too deeply if the interview was prolonged?
"I beg your pardon for not having kept my nerves under better
control.--There is nothing more to say. I promise you one thing: I will
do everything in my power to keep Pierre from ever knowing. Don't thank
me. I will keep silent on his account, on my own account, so as to
preserve a friendship that has always been dear to me, that always will
be dear. I did not come here to threaten you that I would disclose the
past to him. I came to ask you to be silent, to not push your vengeance
to its last extreme.--And now, as I bid you farewell forever, I still
ask you that. You love Pierre, he loves you; promise me that you will
never use his love against our friendship, to respect that feeling in
his heart."
There was a supplicating humility in Olivier's voice. All the religious
sentiment of his friendship, which Ely knew filled him, betrayed itself
in his tone, sadly, almost solemnly! And with a solemn emotion she
replied:--
"I promise you."
"Thank you again," he said, "and farewell."
"Farewell," she replied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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