But, without her being able to say anything, her husband arranged
something for every day, and they had not paid a single visit or dined a
single time with any of their friends. She was too intelligent not to
have understood at once that Olivier did not wish to mix with the
society of Cannes, and that he would not, on the other hand, go away
from the town. Why? A single premiss would have enabled Berthe to solve
the enigma, but she had not that premiss. Her wifely instinct, however,
was not to be deceived--there was a mystery. With an infallible
certainty all pointed to this fact.
By dint of thinking and observing, she came to this conclusion: "This
woman is here. He regrets her, and yet is afraid of her.--He longs for
her, and that is why we remain here and why he is so unhappy.--He is
afraid of her, and that is why he will not let me mix in society here."
How many times during the week she had been tempted to tell him that
such a situation was too humiliating, that he must choose between his
wife and his former mistress, that she had determined to go away, to
return to Paris, to be once more at home among her own people!
And then Hautefeuille was there, always making a third; Hautefeuille,
who certainly knew all the truth! She hated him all the more in
proportion as she suffered from her helpless ignorance. When alone with
Olivier an invincible timidity prostrated her. She had a shamed terror
of owning that she had discovered the name of the Baroness Ely. She
dreaded having to own she had seen the portrait, as though she had been
guilty of some vile spying. She trembled with fear lest some irreparable
word should be spoken in the explanation that must follow. The unknown
in her husband's character terrified her. She had often heard the
histories of households broken up forever during the first year of
married life. Suppose he should abandon her, return to the other in a
fit of rage? The poor child felt her heart grow cold at the mere idea.
She loved Olivier! And even without any question of love, how could she
accept the idea of seeing her conjugal happiness wrecked with the
scandal of a separation, she so calm, so reasonable, so truly pure and
simple-minded?
Again during the miserable night preceding Olivier's meeting with Ely
she had listened to the restlessness of her husband and had kept silent,
in spite of her suffering, of her sense of desertion, of her jealousy!
Every footstep in the adjoining room made her pray, made her long for
strength to resist the temptation to have finished forever with all her
suffering. A dozen times she compelled herself to begin the comforting
prayer, "Our Father--" and every time when she arrived at the sentence,
"As we forgive them that have trespassed against us," her entire being
had revolted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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