"Ah, madame," he answered, "you are afraid of being hard on me when you
have the right to be so severe. What I wish to assure you of at the
start is that your reproaches could not equal my self-reproach! Yes," he
continued, in a tone of passionate remorse, "after what I have seen and
understood, how can I ever forgive myself for having caused you an
annoyance, even were it but the slightest. I understand it all. I know
(from an anonymous letter that came with yours) that what I did the
night before last was seen,--my purchase of the case which you had just
sold. I know that you have been told of it, and I may divine what you
think. I do not ask you to pardon an indiscretion whose gravity I should
have felt at once. But then I didn't think. I saw the merchant take that
case, which I had seen you use so often. The thought of that object,
associated with your image in my mind--the thought of its being sold the
next day in a shop of that horrible locality, and being bought, perhaps,
by one of those frightful women like those around me near the
table--yes, this idea was too strong for my prudence, too strong for my
duty of reserve regarding you. You see, I do not attempt to justify
myself. But perhaps I have the right to assure you that even in my
thoughtless indiscretion there was still a respect for you."
"I have never doubted your delicacy," said Madame de Carlsberg.
She had been moved to the bottom of her heart by this naïve
supplication. She felt so keenly the contrast of his youth and
tenderness with the brutal manners of the Prince a quarter of an hour
before in this same place. And then, as she had recognized the hand of
Louise Brion in the anonymous letter, she was touched by that secret
proof of friendship, and she attempted to bring the conversation to the
point which her faithful friend had so strongly urged--timid and
fruitless effort now to conceal the trouble in her eyes, the involuntary
sigh that heaved her breast, the trembling of her heart in her voice.
"No," she repeated, "I have never doubted it. But you know yourself the
malice of the world, and you see by the letter that was written to you
that your action was observed."
"They will not write to me twice," the young man interrupted. "It was
not only from that letter that I understood the world's malice and
ferocity. What I perceived still more plainly a few moments ago," he
added, with that melancholy firmness which holds back the tears of
farewell, "was that my duty is clear now. My indiscretion the night
before last, and others that I might commit, it is happily in my power
to redeem, and I have come to tell you simply, madame, that I am going;
going," he repeated. "I shall leave Cannes, and if you permit me to hope
that I may gain your esteem by doing this I shall leave, not happy, but
less sad."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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