A Treatise on Domestic Economy; For the Use of Young Ladies at Home and at SchoolBeecher, Catharine Esther
General
A Treatise on Domestic Economy; For the Use of Young Ladies at Home and at School
Beecher, Catharine Esther
Home economics
There is one great mistake, not unfrequently made, in the management
both of domestics and of children; and that is, in supposing that the
way to cure defects, is by finding fault as each failing occurs. But,
instead of this being true, in many cases the directly opposite course
is the best; while, in all instances, much good judgement is required,
in order to decide when to notice faults, and when to let them pass
unnoticed. There are some minds, very sensitive, easily discouraged, and
infirm of purpose. Such persons, when they have formed habits of
negligence, haste, and awkwardness, often need expressions of sympathy
and encouragement, rather than reproof. They have usually been found
fault with, so much, that they have become either hardened or
desponding; and it is often the case, that a few words of commendation
will awaken fresh efforts and renewed hope. In almost every case, words
of kindness, confidence, and encouragement, should be mingled with the
needful admonitions or reproof.
It is a good rule, in reference to this point, to _forewarn_, instead of
finding fault. Thus, when a thing has been done wrong, let it pass
unnoticed, till it is to be done again; and then, a simple request, to
have it done in the right way, will secure quite as much, and probably
more, willing effort, than a reproof administered for neglect. Some
persons seem to take it for granted, that young and inexperienced minds
are bound to have all the forethought and discretion of mature persons;
and freely express wonder and disgust, when mishaps occur for want of
these traits. But it would be far better to save from mistake or
forgetfulness, by previous caution and care on the part of those who
have gained experience and forethought; and thus many occasions of
complaint and ill-humor will be avoided.
Those, who fill the places of heads of families, are not very apt to
think how painful it is, to be chided for neglect of duty, or for faults
of character. If they would sometimes imagine themselves in the place of
those whom they control, with some person daily administering reproof to
them, in the same _tone and style_ as they employ to those who are under
them, it might serve as a useful check to their chidings. It is often
the case, that persons, who are most strict and exacting, and least able
to make allowances and receive palliations, are themselves peculiarly
sensitive to any thing which implies that they are in fault. By such,
the spirit implied in the Divine petition, "forgive us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass against us," needs especially to be
cherished.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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