A Treatise on Domestic Economy; For the Use of Young Ladies at Home and at SchoolBeecher, Catharine Esther
General
A Treatise on Domestic Economy; For the Use of Young Ladies at Home and at School
Beecher, Catharine Esther
Home economics
It demands great wisdom, patience, and self-control, to escape these two
extremes. In aiming at this, there are parents, who have found the
following maxims of very great value. First, Avoid, as much as possible,
the multiplication of rules and absolute commands. Instead of this, take
the attitude of advisers. "My child, this is improper, I wish you would
remember not to do it." This mode of address answers for all the little
acts of heedlessness, awkwardness, or ill-manners, so frequently
occurring, with children. There are cases, when direct and distinct
commands are needful; and, in such cases, a penalty for disobedience
should be as steady and sure as the laws of Nature. Where such
steadiness, and certainty of penalty, attend disobedience, children no
more think of disobeying, than they do of putting their fingers in a
burning candle.
The next maxim, is, Govern by rewards, more than by penalties. Such
faults as wilful disobedience, lying, dishonesty, and indecent or
profane language, should be punished with severe penalties, after a
child has been fully instructed in the evil of such practices. But all
the constantly-recurring faults of the nursery, such as ill-humor,
quarrelling, carelessness, and ill-manners, may, in a great many cases,
be regulated by gentle and kind remonstrances, and by the offer of some
reward for persevering efforts to form a good habit. It is very
injurious and degrading to any mind, to be kept under the constant fear
of penalties. _Love_ and _hope_ are the principles that should be mainly
relied on, in forming the habits of childhood.
Another maxim, and perhaps the most difficult, is, Do not govern by the
aid of severe and angry tones. A single example will be given to
illustrate this maxim. A child is disposed to talk and amuse itself, at
table. The mother requests it to be silent, except when needing to ask
for food, or when spoken to by its older friends. It constantly forgets.
The mother, instead of rebuking, in an impatient tone, says, "My child,
you must remember not to talk. I will remind you of it four times more,
and after that, whenever you forget, you must leave the table, and wait
till we are done." If the mother is steady in her government, it is not
probable that she will have to apply this slight penalty more than once
or twice. This method is far more effectual, than the use of sharp and
severe tones, to secure attention and recollection, and often answers
the purpose, as well as offering some reward.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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