"But I have made up my mind to live single, so long as Julian's mother
is alive. Legally, I am not bound; morally, I can scarcely feel myself
free. And I know that you feel with me, Janet. The world may call us
over-scrupulous; but I set your judgment higher than that of the world.
And all I can say about Margaret is that I fell into a passing fit of
madness, and cared for nothing but what my fancy dictated; and that now
I am sane--clothed in my right mind, so to speak--I am disgusted with
myself for my folly. Lady Caroline and her daughter should have taken
higher ground. They were right to send me away--but not right to act on
unworthy motives. In the long nights that I have spent camping out under
the quiet stars, far away from the dwellings of men, I have argued the
thing out with myself, and I say unreservedly that they were right and
I was wrong--wrong from beginning to end, wrong to my mother, wrong to
my wife (as she once was), wrong to Margaret, wrong to myself. Your
influence has always been on the side of right and truth, Janetta, and
you more than once told me that I was wrong.
"So I make my confession. I do not think that I shall come back to
England just yet. I am going to America next week. You will not leave
the Red House, will you? While you are there I can feel at ease about my
mother and my boy. I trust you with them entirely, Janetta; and I want
you to trust me. Wherever I may go, and whatever I may do, I will
henceforward be worthy of your trust and of your friendship."
This was the letter that Janetta read under the beech trees; and as she
read it tears gathered in her eyes and fell upon the pages. But they
were not tears of sadness--rather tears of joy and thankfulness. For
Wyvis Brand's aberration of mind--so it had always appeared to her--had
given her much pain and sorrow. And he seemed now to have placed his
foot upon the road to better things.
She was still holding the letter in her hand when she reached the end of
the beech-tree shaded walk along which she had been slowly walking. The
tears were wet upon her cheeks, but a smile played on her lips. She did
not notice for some time that she was watched from the gate that led
into the pasture-land, at the end of the beech-tree walk, by a woman,
who seemed uncertain whether to speak, to enter, or to go away.
Janetta saw her at last, and wondered what she was doing there. She put
the letter into her pocket, dashed the tears from her eyes, and advanced
towards the gate.
"Can I do anything for you?" she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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