"I know," continued _Heinrich_, "that it is the sacrifice of your whole
life; but you have yourself given me the courage to ask it, for you
give me the belief that you will make it."
"Oh, God I what do you ask?" Ottilie began. "You wish me to marry,--to
destroy my life! Is it possible? Have I deserved this from you? You
wish to lure me from my home to a desolate career of grandeur, to chain
me to a man whom I know to be a cold-hearted weakling, and scorn as a
mere tool in the hands of the oppressors of his people. And by the
painful act I am to perform I do not even make one person happy."
"Ottilie, how can you say so? Thousands will lavish blessings upon you,
the gratitude of thousands will recompense you, if the happiness of one
whom your presence can transform into another man does not reward you,"
cried _Heinrich_, reproachfully.
"Ottmar, if I knew that I should be permitted to exert a good influence
over you, no sacrifice would seem too great. But you are deceiving
yourself now, as usual. You are easily moved, easily excited: the
moment carries you away with it; the present person is in the right
with you, and when you turn your back upon this room the emotions you
have experienced will be effaced with all their impressions. What
influence did I exert over you while you lived in H----? It would be
precisely the same thing again, and then I should not even be allowed
the one consolation of mourning for you unheeded, in quiet solitude."
"Do you think me so unstable?"
"Confess, my friend, that you have given me proofs of it. Besides, you
are mistaken if you hope to obtain goodness from any influence
whatever. The true man is everything to himself; what he does not
become by his own strength, no other can make him. A character that
depends upon influences is unmanly; the acts and developments of such a
temperament are decided solely by ever-changing accidents. Prosperity
has spoiled you; you have measured your powers only against those
weaker than yourself; they have thereby become relaxed; and, if destiny
does not compel you to put forth your strength in a contact with more
powerful elements, all is vain, you will remain----" She paused.
"Pray go on," said _Heinrich_, bitterly; "I shall remain a
characterless weakling, who balances to and fro like a juggler on the
narrow line between right and wrong! Is not that what you meant to
say?"
Ottilie gazed into his beautiful, restless eyes with an expression of
deep sorrow. "Forgive me if I have caused you pain; I only wished to
convince you that the use which I might be to you is too little for the
sacrifice you demand."
_Heinrich_ felt the moment for persuading her had now arrived; for he
knew by experience that a woman can never be more easily won than at
the moment she believes she has been too harsh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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