false?--suppose the dread of prejudicing himself should be stronger
than his integrity? She could not doubt his love, for his ardor had
already made her tremble. Suppose he wished to plunge her into the same
abyss that had engulfed so many others? suppose the reports concerning
him were true, and he should prove false, terribly, fiendishly false?
Yet scarcely was the suspicion born ere her whole nature rose against
it in all its strength. What a monster you are to have the thought of
such baseness arise in your young brain! Is your imagination so corrupt
that the most sacred thing is not too holy to be thus sullied? Her
horror was now not of him, but of herself. He was not the traitor, but
she,--she who could cherish so disgraceful a doubt, whose love was not
strong enough to crush it in the bud; she had betrayed him in her own
heart.
She started up, rushed into her room, and lighted a lamp; then in the
anguish of her soul threw herself on the floor before his picture,--the
same one she had received from Fräulein Hedwig. Her eyes wandered over
the sketch and strove to animate the mute features and unravel their
mystery; in vain, the solution was concealed in her own breast, and
everything there was confused and gloomy. Thus, tortured by doubts of
him and of herself, she was at last attracted towards the pure,
faithful heart of her foster-mother. She entered the tea-room and found
Veronica sitting with her clasped hands resting in her lap, absorbed in
sorrowful thought.
"Are you come at last, my darling? You have left your old Veronica
alone a long time. But I understand it. In this solemn hour you must
first be at peace with yourself. You happy, fortunate child!"
Cornelia threw herself upon a stool at Veronica's feet, and asked,
cautiously, for she did not wish this unprejudiced mind to catch a
glimpse of her troubled soul, "Do you believe in _Heinrich_ as firmly
as I do?"
"Certainly," replied Veronica. "I think he has given us sufficient
proof that he is a man of honor."
The old servant brought a lamp and the musical urn into the room;
Veronica took out her knitting-work, and as they sat so quietly
together with the sweet melodies circling round them with the rising
steam, the memory of the evening of their first unseen meeting rose
gently before Cornelia's mind with all its magic and blessedness. Her
excited nerves grew calm, her mood dissolved in tears. She remembered
so many lofty words, so many glances full of true nobility of feeling.
All those fair moments passed before her. With what joyful affection he
had met her that day! Can one who has any evil design be so frank, so
confident? Oh, if he should suspect how she had doubted him!
"Do you think it necessary to keep our love a secret?" she asked, at
last.
"Oh, yes, my child," said Veronica, calmly.
"To me it is only very painful," murmured Cornelia.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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