"How can I help it? What can I begin after this failure? My political
credit is ruined here as well as elsewhere. What can it avail to
convince myself more and more that I cannot make amends for my
errors in this province? But here,"--he laid his band an Cornelia's
shoulder,--"here, thank God, I can atone for the wrongs I have
committed; here I can and will prove that I have become a different
man!"
"No, Heinrich," cried Cornelia, deeply touched. "I thank you for these
words, and for the cheerfulness with which you hope to find in me a
compensation for all; but I think too highly of you to be able to share
this hope. No wife, not even the most beloved, can make that
superfluous for which her husband was born: to work in a lofty
vocation. What you now feel, in the first ebullition of joy, you cannot
always experience. The storm that now fills your heart now will subside
in time, and the calm which will then follow would at last make you
find a void in yourself. You are no 'shepherd,' Heinrich. An idyllic,
private life would not long satisfy you; a quiet withdrawal into your
own family circle, a limiting of yourself to that which is personally
dear to you, would be again an egotistical, and therefore only a
partial, happiness. You possess the power of solving comprehensive
problems. Every power imperiously demands its right to assert itself;
if the opportunity is denied, it turns destructively against the
barriers imposed upon it, and that which is also within them. Thus it
would be with you and our peace. Woe betide the wife who believes that
she can and must be the whole world to her husband! She does not
understand his larger nature, and will only make herself or him
unhappy. I do not belong to that class. I pride myself in taking into
account all the just demands of your character, thus only can I make
you happy. I will not regret you in the hours your profession claims,
for I shall take possession of you doubly in spirit, when I know you to
be toiling for that for which I myself would fain strive with all my
powers, and must not because I am a woman. I will not bewail the
time you take from me to give to mankind, for I love all men far too
much to grudge them what you can do for their welfare. And then,
Heinrich,"--she laid her head on his breast, and gazed into his face
with a bride's ardent love,--"then when you return home to your wife
weary but joyous in the consciousness of duty then you shall rest in my
arms, in my faithful love, and let me have the proud belief that my
heart is the soil from which the roots of your life draw nourishment
for the glorious fruits that you permit the world to reap!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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