A Unique Story of a Marvellous Career: Life of Hon. Phineas T. BarnumBenton, Joel
History
A Unique Story of a Marvellous Career: Life of Hon. Phineas T. Barnum
Benton, Joel
Barnum's American Museum; Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor), 1810-1891; Circus owners -- United States -- Biography
Here I might safely rest, and leave you to the comfort of your
own reflections in the case. But as you, in common with many
other worthy persons, would seem to have very crude notions as to
your rights of "property" in pews, you will pardon me for saying
that a pew in a church is property only in a peculiar and
restricted sense. It is not property, as your house or horse is
property. It vests you with no fee in the soil; you cannot use it
in any way, and in every way, and at all times, as your pleasure
or caprice may dictate; you cannot put it to any common or
unhallowed uses; you cannot remove it, nor injure it, nor destroy
it. In short, you hold by purchase, and may sell the right to,
the undisturbed possession of that little space within the church
edifice which you call your pew during the hours of divine
service. But even that right must be exercised decorously, and
with a decent regard for time and place, or else you may at any
moment be ignominiously ejected from it.
I regret to be obliged to add that, by the law of custom, you
may, during those said hours of divine service (but at no other
time) sleep in your pew; you must, however, do so noiselessly and
never to the disturbance of your sleeping neighbors; your
property in your pew has this extent and nothing more. Now, if
Mr. W*** S*** were at any time to come to me and say, "Sir, I
would that you should grant me the use of Grace Church for a
solemn service (a marriage, a baptism, or a funeral, as the case
may be), and as it is desirable that the feelings of the parties
should be protected as far as possible from the impertinent
intrusion and disturbance of a crowd from the streets and lanes
of the city, I beg that no one may be admitted within the doors
of the church during the very few moments that we expect to be
there, but our invited friends only,"--it would certainly, in
such a case, be my pleasure to comply with your request, and to
meet your wishes in every particular; and I think that even Mr.
W*** S*** will agree that all this would be entirely reasonable
and proper. Then, tell me, how would such a case differ from the
instance of which you complain? Two young persons, whose only
crimes would seem to be that they are neither so big, nor so
stupid, nor so ill-mannered, nor so inordinately selfish as some
other people, come to me and say, sir, we are about to be
married, and we wish to throw around our marriage all the
solemnities of religion. We are strangers in your city, and as
there is no clergyman here standing in a pastoral relation to us,
we have ventured to ask the favor of the bishop of New York to
marry us, and he has kindly consented to do so; may we then
venture a little further and request the use of your church in
which the bishop may perform the marriage service? We assure you,
sir, that we are no shams, no cheats, no mountebanks; we are
neither monsters nor abortions; it is true we are little, but we
are as God made us, perfect in our littleness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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