“Saw the pretty little governess going to church; felt half inclined
to go too, just to look at her,” he murmured once while she sat by his
bedside listening. But then he rambled off into talk which concerned
a dog he had bought, and Susan Green, the blacksmith’s daughter,
and let fall some epithets which, it occurred to Annie, would apply
particularly well to Miss West, at whose house he and his companions
had been supping on the Wednesday night, or rather Thursday morning,
when she had run against him in Beckham Street, and when he had met
with his accident.
It was a hard punishment for the weakness of marrying him and the
fault of leaving him that she was suffering now, as she listened to
his wandering talk about other women, which showed his contempt for
a sex he did not understand, or think worth the trouble of trying to
understand. And all the while she had to try to overcome the disgust
with which he inspired her and the longing to be again in the society
of one man, one brilliant, interesting companion, for whom every word
she uttered had a charm, every action of hers was right.
When Mrs. Stanley took her place in the sickroom, she would fly like
an escaped bird out of doors, and wander through the fields and the
now leafless copses by herself, rejoicing in her temporary freedom,
trying to forget the horrible fact that she was married, and the very
existence of that unconscious, senseless clog upon her life that she
had left in the darkened room up-stairs. These rambles brought almost
as much pain as pleasure to her; they recalled to her so vividly
the long marauding expeditions she had had with William, when they
used to return home laden with birds’ eggs and ducks’ feathers, and
moss-covered twigs, all of which William had to carry as soon as they
got near the house, for fear any of the household should think that
Mrs. Harold Braithwaite was so childish as to care for such rubbish.
Harry had been merely an every-day trial then, to be shirked as much
as conscience permitted; now he had become, and by her own fault, an
obstacle to her happiness which there was no possibility of removing.
She had returned to the sickroom one afternoon to relieve the
housekeeper, and, finding that Harry was sleeping quietly--a fact which
made her a little nervous, as it proved he was getting better--she
opened a book and settled herself in an arm-chair by the fire, whence
she could see any movement of the invalid’s by merely raising her eyes.
The book was George Sands’ “Consuelo.” Opening it at first carelessly,
the earliest pages fixed her attention, and before long she bent over
it, completely absorbed in the fascinating story.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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