“You have a right to know, and you shall know. I can’t tell you all
now, but just this. For four years, during which you never took the
trouble to find out whether I was starving--and I was not so very far
off that sometimes--I have been working to lay the foundation of a
career for myself--an honorable career, I need not say, even to you.
I have been put back a little, just as I was going to make a great
stride forward, by coming to nurse you. I have fulfilled that duty now,
and, now you are well, I am only wasting my time here. You must let
me go. I will come back when you please, if I can, and I will let you
know everything you wish. But my presence, now you are all going to be
together again, would only irritate you--already it seems to be the
cause of your quarreling with William. You will be disgusted again with
my ‘learned airs,’ and with my preaching--for I shall not be able to
keep myself from uttering useless remonstrances when I see you going on
in your old way, as I know you will, and bringing back the fever, and
making yourself ill again----”
“But, if I make myself ill again, you will have to nurse me.”
“Indeed, you are mistaken!” answered Annie, raising her eyes to his
with spirit. “If now, after being warned, you choose, rashly, to put
your life in danger, and to undo all the good our constant watching and
nursing have done you, I shall not consider myself bound to sacrifice
myself any longer to a man who could be guilty of such foolish and
selfish conduct, whether he is my husband or not.”
“Then you would leave me to die while you went on enjoying your
‘career,’ as you call it?”
“I would leave you to take your chance.”
Harry began to tremble all over, and the tears rose to his eyes. His
hand relaxed its hold on Annie’s arm, and fell down by his side.
Softened, frightened by the effect of her words, Annie clasped her
little hands on his shoulder, and told him not to take her words so
seriously, that she had spoken them only because she wanted him to take
care of himself and get well fast.
“No, you don’t--no, you don’t! You want me to die, so that you may be
free!” said he, in a hoarse, tremulous voice, keeping his head turned
away from her.
Happily, his own emotion prevented his noticing the effect of his words
on Annie, whose cheeks flushed suddenly, and whose tongue faltered as
she was about to interrupt him. He continued:
“I see, I see! You want me to drink and kill myself, or ruin myself, so
that you may go away and get praised for being a martyr! Go away--go
away from me! I don’t want your little soft hands about me, when all
the while I know your heart is hard and you hate me!” said he, shaking
her off, vehemently.
Annie rose slowly, and walked with downcast head toward the door. But
she had not shut it behind her before her husband’s voice called her
back.
“Annie, Annie--come here--only one minute! I want to speak to you!”
She returned, and stood, with her eyes still down, very meekly before
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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