A Valiant Ignorance; vol. 2 of 3: A Novel in Three VolumesDickens, Mary Angela
General
A Valiant Ignorance; vol. 2 of 3: A Novel in Three Volumes
Dickens, Mary Angela
Fiction
Gradually a sense of his surroundings began to return to him. He became
conscious that it was a street-lamp at which he was looking; that there
was a dark little street before him; that there was a dim room behind
him; and then from that room a low sound came to him--faint, exhausted,
long-drawn sobs, as of a woman who has wept herself into quiet. He began
to listen for them and count them involuntarily. Then they began to hurt
him; each one seemed to stick something into his heart. At last he
walked across almost mechanically, and laid his hand tentatively on her
shoulder.
“It’s all right, Clemence!” he said huskily. “It’s all right, dear.
After all, you know, you are my wife all right!” He was conscious of a
vague idea that it was the supposition he had allowed that had cut her
so cruelly.
There was another moment’s pause, and then Clemence slowly lifted her
head and looked at him for the first time. Her face was white and
exhausted-looking with her tears, and her eyes, luminous and
inexpressibly mournful, seemed to look through the pale, good-looking
young features above her into the poor cramped soul they hid.
“I?” she said. “What does it matter about me, Julian? It’s you! Oh, my
dear, my dear, it’s you!”
“It--it’s awkward!” returned Julian gloomily; his consciousness of the
prospect before him seemed to quicken and writhe at what he supposed to
be her realisation of it. “It’s loss of everything practically, of
course. One will be cut right and left, and where money is to come
from----”
He was interrupted by a low cry. Clemence had drawn a little back as
though to see him better, and was looking up at him with her delicate
eyebrows drawn together in intense, painful perplexity and wonder.
“Oh, Julian!” she said, and her low voice had for the first time a ring
of reproach in it. “Oh, Julian, it isn’t that, dear! It isn’t that! What
does that matter?”
“What does it matter?” echoed Julian with an angry laugh. Her words, in
the total want of comprehension, the total incapacity for sympathy with
his position, to which they witnessed, seemed to him to throw into
sudden, glaring relief the class distinction which lay between them; and
the sense of it came upon him, jarring and overwhelming, like an earnest
of all he had done for himself. “It matters a good deal, let me tell
you, Clemence. It matters--as you can’t understand, you know! It matters
just everything!”
“But--compared!” she said in a low, quick tone, a bright, pained light
in her eyes. “I know--I know, of course, that there is a great deal I
can’t understand. But--compared!”
“Compared with what, in Heaven’s name?” said Julian angrily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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