A Valiant Ignorance; vol. 3 of 3: A Novel in Three VolumesDickens, Mary Angela
General
A Valiant Ignorance; vol. 3 of 3: A Novel in Three Volumes
Dickens, Mary Angela
Fiction
The sunshine of the day had given place to a drizzling rain when he
turned into that quiet little street which had witnessed their last
meeting. The dazed sense of the necessity for flight was strong upon him.
Darkness had fallen; he had left his room for the last time; in another
hour he would be in the Liverpool train, a fugitive from justice; and in
the terror and confusion of the realisation of that one all-absorbing
fact, the only other thought that lived in him was his blind desire for
one sight of Clemence. He had come to the little street unreasoningly,
weighing no probabilities as to whether or no she would be at work;
not even understanding that there were probabilities to weigh; coming
there simply because he had seen her there before and knew of no other
chance of seeing her. He took up his position in a doorway by which she
must pass, and waited. It seemed to him that he had been standing there,
utterly alone, for hours, when the door, from which his haggard, sunken
eyes had never stirred, opened.
As on that other occasion Clemence was the last to come out, but she
came this time walking quickly and eagerly. For an instant as she passed
beneath the lamp the light fell on her face, and as Julian’s eyes rested
on it for that instant, he clutched at the railing by which he stood.
Then she came on in the shadow, still followed by those hungry eyes.
Perhaps she felt their gaze. Perhaps her own heart felt the pang that
was rending his. In the very act of passing him she stopped suddenly and
turned towards him, looking into the dimness in which he was shrouded.
She stretched out her hands with a low, inarticulate cry.
He had her in his arms in an instant, straining her to him with a
despairing passion which he had never known before, and she clung to him
half frightened by his touch.
“Julian!” she whispered. Then as no word came from him, only his burning
kisses pressed upon her upturned face, she went on softly: “Dear, weren’t
you going to speak to me?” Still he did not speak, and with a look and
accent indescribably beautiful in their tender womanliness, she said:
“You didn’t think I would reproach you?”
“It’s good-bye, Clemmie,” he muttered hoarsely. “Good-bye! I--I’m going
away for--for a little while.”
He could as easily have killed her, at that moment, as have told her the
truth.
“Going away!” she echoed, with a little catch in her breath. “Where,
dear?”
“To--to America.” He could not tell her all the truth, but there was no
power in him to originate an unnecessary lie. He felt her arms tighten
about him, and he answered the appeal hoarsely, hurrying out the words.
“I--I’m leaving a letter about you, and----” his voice died away in his
throat as he tried to speak of his child, and then he went on rapidly
and unevenly: “It will be--all right. Clemence! Clemence! try to forgive
me. Good-bye, dear, good-bye!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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