I found De Walden still talking with Juan. They both seemed to regard
me with very scrutinizing as well as sympathizing looks; and I still
trembled so much that I was glad to accept the support of De Walden's
arm. He attended me home; but we neither of us spoke during the walk.
When I reached the door, I said, "Come to me to breakfast to-morrow;
for to-day I am wholly unfitted for company." He sighed, bowed, and
departed; but not without assuring me that he would enquire concerning
the causes of my husband's arrest, and try to get him set at liberty.
"Well," cried Juan, "I have one comfort more than I had; Count De Walden
has declared that while you remain in Paris he will." And I also felt
comforted by this assurance.
I now retired to my own room, and, throwing myself on the bed, entered
upon that severe task self-examination; and I learnt to doubt whether
my expedition to France were as truly and singly the result of pure
and genuine tenderness, and a sense of duty, as I had supposed it was.
For what had I done? I had certainly shone in the eyes of many at the
expense of my husband. I had, as he said, "humbled him in his own eyes,"
and I had chosen to run risks for his sake, which he could not approve,
and after all might not be the better for. In such reflections as these
I passed that long and miserable day; aye, and in some worse still;
for I felt that Pendarves no longer loved me--that he esteemed, he
respected, he admired me; but that his tenderness was gone, and gone
too, probably, for ever!
I had however one pleasant idea to dwell upon. Deputies, if not an
ambassador, were now expected from America, and De Walden had told Juan
he should claim their protection for us.
The next morning De Walden came; but his brow was clouded, his manner
embarrassed, and the tone of his voice mournful.
"Have you made the inquiries which you promised?"
"I have; and they have not been answered satisfactorily. My dear friend,
there are subjects which nothing but the emergencies of the case could
justify me to discuss with you. Will you therefore pardon me if I say--"
"Say any thing: at a moment like this it is my duty not to shrink from
the truth. I guess what you mean."
He then told me the cause of my husband's arrest, which I have already
mentioned; adding that the ostensible causes were so trifling, that they
could probably be easily gotten over; but that the true cause, jealousy,
was, he feared, not likely to be removed.
"But she left him," cried I, "left him as if for ever, and accompanied
her new lover in triumph!"
"Yes: but I fear that he will not get quit of her so soon."
My only answer to this unwelcome truth was a deep sigh; and for some
minutes I was unable to speak, while De Walden anxiously walked up and
down the room.
"Perhaps you would go and see Pendarves?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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