Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"Not by no means; na, na. The mair I read aboot geniuses the mair
clearly I see as their wy o' living alane ower muckle is ane o' the
things as breaks doon their health, and makes them meeserable. I' the
Home they would hae a bedroom apiece, but the parlour an' the other
sittin'-rooms would be for all, so as they could enjoy ane another's
company. The management? Oh, that's aisy. The superintendent would
be a medical man appointed by Parliament, and he would hae men-servants
to do his biddin'."
"Not all men-servants, surely?"
"Every one o' them. Man, geniuses is no to be trusted wi' womenfolk.
No, even Robbie Bu--"
"So he did; but would the inmates have to put themselves entirely in
the superintendent's hands?"
"Nae doubt; an' they would see it was the wisest thing they could do.
He would be careful o' their health, an' send them early to bed as weel
as hae them up at eight sharp. Geniuses' healths is always breakin'
doon because of late hours, as in the case o' the lad wha used often to
begin his immortal writin's at twal o'clock at nicht, a thing 'at would
ruin ony constitootion. But the superintendent would see as they had a
tasty supper at nine o'clock--something as agreed wi' them. Then for
half an hour they would quiet their brains readin' oot aloud, time
about, frae sic a book as the 'Pilgrim's Progress,' an' the gas would
be turned aff at ten precisely."
"When would you have them up in the morning?"
"At sax in summer an' seven in winter. The superintendent would see as
they were all properly bathed every mornin', cleanliness bein' most
important for the preservation o' health."
"This sounds well; but suppose a genius broke the rules--lay in bed,
for instance, reading by the light of a candle after hours, or refused
to take his bath in the morning?"
"The superintendent would hae to punish him. The genius would be sent
back to his bed, maybe. An' if he lay lang i' the mornin' he would hae
to gang withoot his breakfast."
"That would be all very well where the inmate only broke the
regulations once in a way; but suppose he were to refuse to take his
bath day after day (and, you know, geniuses are said to be eccentric in
that particular), what would be done? You could not starve him;
geniuses are too scarce."
"Na, na; in a case like that he would hae to be reported to the public.
The thing would hae to come afore the Hoose of Commons. Ay, the
superintendent would get a member o' the Opposeetion to ask a queistion
such as 'Can the honourable gentleman, the Secretary of State for Home
Affairs, inform the Hoose whether it is a fac that Mr. Sic-a-one, the
well-known genius, at present resident in the Home for Geniuses, has,
contrairy to regulations, perseestently and obstinately refused to
change his linen; and, if so, whether the Government proposes to take
ony steps in the matter?' The newspapers would report the discussion
next mornin', an' so it would be made public withoot onnecessary
ootlay."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account