“Well, who doubts that?” said the lady, with frank good humor. “Of course
she has more sense than any of us. Well, my mother says--oh, Miss
Vizard!”
“No, she doesn't now. She never heard the name of Vizard.”
Miss Gale was in no humor for feeble jokes. She turned half angrily away
from him to Zoe. “She says I have been well educated, and know languages;
and we are both under a cloud, and I had better give up all thought of
medicine, and take to teaching.”
“Well, Miss Gale,” said Zoe, “if you ask _me,_ I must say I think it is
good advice. With all your gifts, how can you fight the world? We are all
interested in you here; and it is a curious thing, but do you know we
agreed the other day you would have to give up medicine, and fall into
some occupation in which there are many ladies already to keep you in
countenance. Teaching was mentioned, I think; was it not, Harrington?”
Rhoda Gale sighed deeply.
“I am not surprised,” said she. “Most women of the world think with you.
But oh, Miss Vizard, please take into account all that I have done and
suffered for medicine! Is all that to go for _nothing?_ Think what a
bitter thing it must be to do, and then to undo; to labor and study, and
then knock it all down--to cut a slice out of one's life, out of the very
heart of it--and throw it clean away. I know it is hard for you to enter
into the feelings of any one who loves science, and is told to desert it.
But suppose you had loved a _man_ you were proud of--loved him for five
years--and then they came to you and said, 'There are difficulties in the
way; he is as worthy as ever, and he will never desert _you;_ but you
must give _him_ up, and try and get a taste for human rubbish: it will
only be five years of wasted life, wasted youth, wasted seed-time, wasted
affection, and then a long vegetable life of unavailing regrets.' I love
science as other women love men. If I am to give up science, why not die?
Then I shall not feel my loss; and I know how to die without pain. Oh,
the world is cruel! Ah! I am too unfortunate! Everybody else is rewarded
for patience, prudence, temperance, industry, and a life with high and
almost holy aims; but I am punished, afflicted, crushed under the
injustice of the day. Do not make me a nurse-maid. I _won't_ be a
governess; and I must not die, because that would grieve my mother. Have
pity on me! have pity!”
She trembled all over, and stretched out her hands to Zoe with truly
touching supplication.
Zoe forgot her part, or lost the power to play it well. She turned her
head away and would not assent; but two large tears rolled out of her
beautiful eyes. Miss Gale, who had risen in the ardor of her appeal, saw
that, and it set her off. She leaned her brow against the mantel-piece,
not like a woman, but a brave boy, that does not want to be seen crying,
and she faltered out, “In France I am a learned physician; and here to be
a house-maid! For I won't live on borrowed money. I am very unfortunate.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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