'Oh, not necessarily. I have one great recipe for not having a headache.
You see, this is the philosophy of headaches.' And then, much to John's
chagrin, he linked arms with him and changed his step to suit Kenyon's,
talking all the time as if they were the most intimate friends in the
world. 'I have a sure plan for avoiding a headache. You see, when you
look into the matter, it is this way: The headache only comes when you
are sober. Very well, then. It is as simple as A B C. Never get sober;
that's my plan. I simply keep on, and never get sober, so I have no
headaches. If people who drink would avoid the disagreeable necessity of
ever getting sober, they would be all right. Don't you see what I mean?'
'And how about their brains in the meantime?'
'Oh, their brains are all right. Good liquor sharpens a man's brains
wonderfully. Now, you try it some time. Let me have them mix a cocktail
for you? I tell you, John, a cocktail is one of the finest drinks that
ever was made, and this man at the bar--when I came on board, he thought
he could make a cocktail, but he didn't know even the rudiments--I have
taught him how to do it; and I tell you that secret will be worth a
fortune to him, because if there is anything Americans like, it is to
have their cocktails mixed correctly. There's no one man in all England
can do it, and very few men on the Atlantic service. But I'm gradually
educating them. Been across six times. They pretend to give you American
drinks over in England, but you must know how disappointing they are.'
'I'm sure I don't see how I should know, for I never taste any of them.'
'Ah, true; I had forgotten that. Well, I took this bar-keeper here in
hand, and he knows now how to make a reasonably good cocktail; and, as I
say, that secret will be worth money to him from American passengers.'
John Kenyon was revolving in his mind the problem of how to get rid of
this loquacious and generous individual, when he saw, bearing down upon
them, the natty figure of Miss Jennie Brewster; and he wondered why such
a look of bitter indignation was flashing from her eyes. He thought that
she intended to address the American politician, but he was mistaken. She
came directly at him, and said in an excited tone, with a ring of anger
in it:
'Well, John Kenyon, what do you think of your work?'
'What work?' asked the bewildered man.
'You know very well what work I mean. A fine specimen of a man you are!
Without the courage yourself to prevent my sending that telegram, you
induced your dupe to come down to my state-room and brazenly keep me from
sending it.'
The blank look of utter astonishment upon the face of honest John Kenyon
would have convinced any woman in her senses that he knew nothing at all
of what she was speaking. A dim impression of this, indeed, flashed
across the young woman's heated brain. But before she could speak,
Fleming said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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