"Your nurse (I do not like Miss Ransome, though I respect, admire,
and fear her. Her emotions are carbolized, her heart is sterilized,
her personality has the mathematical perfection of something turned
out by a super-machine: like, say, the last word in machine-guns.
None of the divine imperfection of your hand-wrought, artist-stuff
there! I forgive her for existing, because she is intelligent and
useful, two things that, without lying like a Christian and a
gentleman, one may not say of many women, and seldom of one woman at
the same time), your nurse gave me a highly interesting, impersonal,
scientific account of what happened after my flight. Her testimony
was all the more valuable in that she was, as she said, only
'psychologically interested.' She reminded me that Empedocles is
said to have recalled a young woman from death by the same means,
i.e., the insistent repetition of her name; which proved to Miss
Ransome that the poor old ancients had 'anticipated, though of
course unscientifically, some of the principles of modern
psychology.' _Eheu!_
"It proved something else to me, Sophy--that I had too willingly
underestimated Mr. Nicholas Jelnik. There is very much more to that
young man than I like to admit.
"He would have made such a perfect villain: I could have made a work
of art of him, as a villain! And now I can't, because he isn't. This
chagrins me. It upsets my notions of the fitness of things. More
yet: he loves you, Sophy, more than I do, or ever could.
"Does this astound you? Come and let us reason together: the spirit
moves me to speak out in meeting.
"You are the only woman I have ever been willing to marry. That I
should wish to marry you astonished me far, far more than it did
you. At the same time it delighted me by its very unexpectedness. It
gave me a brand-new emotion, and brand-new emotions aren't every-day
affairs, let me tell you! You brought something naive, unusual,
fresh, perplexing, into a bored existence. And then you refused to
spoil it! That added to the quality of the unusualness. The ninety
and nine would have subjected me to the acid test of matrimony, with
the later and inevitable alimony. The saving hundredth sees to it
that I shall keep my illusions! O rare dear wise Sophy! How shall I
repay you?
"For I shall be able to indulge in day-dreams now. I shall not grow
old cynically. There _are_ unselfish, true-hearted, valiant women.
There _are_ women who will not marry men for position, name, fame,
power, money; no, nor for anything but love. How do I know? Because
you don't love me, my dear. But you do love Nicholas Jelnik. You had
not come back from the gates of death else, Sophy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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