"If she goes over the line once, and doesn't have to pay for it, she is
lost." She was standing at my window looking out over the roofs and
chimneys cased in ice, and she might, for all the mark her profession
has left on her, been looking across the pasture bars. I was irritated
at her detachment, and her interest, in the face of my own problem, in
an affair so unrelated as Cecelia Brune's.
"Why do you care so much?"
"You'd care too, if you had seen as much of her; it's like watching a
drowning man: you don't stop to ask if he's worth it before you plunge
in!"
"I can't swim myself," I protested.
I didn't want to be dragged in, rescuing Cecelia; I had myself to save
and wasn't sure I could do it. It was after this talk, however, that
Griff, who still hung about the Varieté from habit, told me that Sarah
had fallen into the way of stopping to pick up Cecelia on her way home
from her own theatre. He thought it a futile performance.
"Nothing can stop that kind; they don't always know it, but that's what
draws them to the stage in the first place. It's a kind of
what-do-you-call-it, going back to the thing they were a long time ago."
"Atavism," I supplied; I thought it very likely. All the centuries of
bringing women up to be toys must have had its fruit somehow. Cecelia
was made to be played with; she wasn't serviceable for anything else.
And what was more, I didn't care to be identified with her even in the
Christian attitude of a rescuer. I said as much to Sarah one evening
about a week later, when I had gone with Jerry to give my opinion of
some changes in the cast, preparatory to going on the road with his
play, and in the overflow of his satisfaction at the way the audience
rose to them, he had asked me to go to supper with him. Then as Sarah
joined us and the spirit of the crowd caught him, pouring along the
street, bright almost as by day and with the added brightness of evening
garments, Jerry, always open to the infection of the holiday mood,
proposed that for once we stretch a point by going to supper at
Reeves's. Sarah and I demurred as women will at such a proposal from a
man whose family exigencies are known to them, but Sarah found a
prohibitory objection in a promise she professed to have made, to go
around for Cecelia on her way home, which Jerry promptly quashed by
including her in the invitation. I protested.
"Supper at Reeves's is quite enough of an adventure for one time.
Cecelia paints."
"Not really," Sarah protested. "It's only that she uses so little
make-up that she doesn't think it necessary to take it off."
"All the better," insisted Jerry. "I never did take supper at Reeves's
with a painted lady, and I'm told it is quite one of the things to do."
I let it pass rather than spoil his high mood. It was not more than
three blocks to the Varieté, and at the stage door Sarah insisted on
getting out herself.
"Why did you let her?" I protested to Jerry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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