A Woman's Experiences in the Great WarMack, Louise
History
A Woman's Experiences in the Great War
Mack, Louise
World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives
A kiss, and she and little Marie flee away through the madness of the
night towards the Breda Gate and the safety of some Dutch village across
the border.
Every now and then I would open the swing-doors and fly like mad on
tip-toe to the corner of the Avenue de Commerce, and there, casting one
swift glance right and left, I would take in the awful panorama of
scarlet flames. They were leaping now over the Marché Aux Souliers, the
street which corresponds with our Strand. While I watched I heard the
shrieking rush of one shell after another, any one of which might of
course well have fallen where I stood.
But I knew they wouldn't. I felt as safe and secure there in that
shell-swept corner as if I had been a child again, at home in silent,
sleepy, far-away Australia!
The fact is when you are in the midst of danger, with shells bursting
round you, and the city on fire, and the Germans closing in on you, and
your friends and home many hundreds of miles away, your brain works in
an entirely different way from when you are living safely in your
peaceful Midlands.
Quite unconsciously, one's ego asserts itself in danger, until it seems
that one carries within one a world so important, so limitless, and
immortal, that it appears invincible before hurt or death.
This is an illusion, of course; but what a beautiful and merciful one!
When danger comes your way this illusion will begin to weave a sort of
fairy haze around you, making you feel that those shrieking shells can
never fall on you!
Seldom indeed while I was at the front did I hear anyone say, "I'm
afraid." How deeply and compassionately considerate Nature is to us all!
She has supplied us with a store of emotional glands, and fitted us up
with many a varying sensation, of which curiosity is the liveliest and
strongest. Then when it comes to a race between Fear and Curiosity, in
ninety-nine cases out of a hundred Curiosity wins hands down. In real
danger our curiosity, and our unconscious but deep-seated belief in the
ego, carry us right over the frightful terrors that we imagine we should
feel were we thinking the thing out quietly in a safe land. _Then_, we
tremble and shiver! _Then_, we remember the word "Scream." _Then_, we
understand the meaning of fear! _Then_, we run (in our thoughts) into
caves and cellars. But when the real thing comes we put our heads out of
the windows, we run out into the streets, we go towards danger and not
away from it, driven thither by the mighty emotion of Curiosity, which,
when all is said and done, is one of the most delightful because the
most electrifying of all human sensations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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