37. A soldier's son and a volunteer Heaps of glory, bags of beer. 38. To become acquainted with Colonials before settling. 39. For adventure. 40. Northumbria's reply, "Duty." WHY I LEFT. 1. The old man stumped up and I am in no danger of receiving a blue paper. 2. Captured at Lindley. Too much mealie porridge and rice. 3. Because I have changed my mind. 4. Gammy leg, couldn't ride, Sent to Cape Town, had to slide. 5. "Go not too often into thy neighbour's house, lest he be weary of thee!" HOSPITALS. 1. Imperial Yeomanry Field. 2. Johannesburg Civil. 3. No. 6 General. 4. No. 9 General. 5. No. 8 General. 6. Deelfontein. 7. Maitland. 6. Because they injured me. 7. Love of my native land (England). 8. I did not get enough fighting, but too much messing about. 9. "FED UP!!!" 10. A broken leg (more serious and imperative). 11. Anxiety to get away from it. 12. Joined B.P.'s Police Force to still search for the impossible. 13. Enteric Fever!!! 14. Ill health. 15. Bathing one day, found varicose veins much to my delight. Invalided. 16. Prose. 17. "Repented at leisure." 18. To see if he has improved. 19. Because Time and Boers wait for no man. 20. Because I want to do more fighting and am joining the S.A.C. 21. Love of Peace. 22. Time for close season. 23. The "Crisis" o'er, I've now retired. 24. Because I was sick of the New. 25. Alas, no Glory have I earned, No Trumpet's Requiem found, Altho' I've laid upon the veldt, With scanty comfort round. My son has seen more fights than I, Tho' he is scarce fifteen, Whilst I must sound my trumpet at The Yeoman's Base-fontein. SERGT.-TRUMPETER (McKenzie's Farm). 26. Appetite appeased. 27. Drink and Drink. 28. Vexation of Spirit. 29. But I found: 1 That after twelve months of the same I felt It was not the life for me. 2 That when you wanted to go to sleep, You're scratching and hunting for l--ce. 3 That 'twas very unpleasant to ride all day When you'd lost the seat of your trousers. 4 That to get nothing else for more than six months, Would make any fellow say "D----!" 30. What with Mausers by day and crawlers by night. I had it. 31. Have seen enough. 32. Going home to a Certainty. 33. Same reason here. 34. The Patriotic Fever has run its natural course. 35. Because the Bo-ahs shot me instead, And the papers (confound them) reported me "dead," That sort of game is rather too bad, So the prodigal now returns to his dad. 36. Got C.B. instead! 37. Bags of biscuits hard as rocks, Smashed my teeth and gave me sox! 38. To join the Bodyguard for same reason and--_better pay_. 39. To go back to a hum-drum life, which is better than a Dum-Dum death.