Madge locked her doors, bathed her hot face, then paced her room in
great agitation, feeling that not only her own happiness was in peril,
but Graydon's also. Her mental distress was greatly enhanced by a
feeling that in order to save her relatives she herself had been
guilty of what to her sensitive nature appeared almost like a crime.
"Was it right?" she asked herself again and again, and at last reached
the conclusion that the fealty she owed to her relatives and to the
man she loved justified her course--that she should shield them even
at such cost to herself. "It was not curiosity that kept me passive,"
she thought, "but the hope, the chance to save Henry from financial
ruin and Graydon from far worse disaster." It would indeed be
"horrible" for any true man to marry such a girl; and to permit the
man she loved to make such a fatal blunder was simply monstrous. Yet
how could she prevent it without doing violence to every maidenly
principle of her nature?
Should she tell her sister? This impulse passed almost instantly. Mary
had not the tact, nerve, or reticence to meet such an emergency. It
seemed, however, that if something was not done almost immediately
this callous, selfish girl would cause lifelong wretchedness to
Graydon as certainly as to Madge herself. Such a nature could not long
maintain its disguise, and probably would not be at pains to do so
after marriage. The self-sacrifice that she had led Graydon to believe
in was all deceit. It was self with her, first and last; it would be
self always. Madge knew Graydon well enough to be sure that to him,
when his illusions were dissipated, the marriage vow would become a
chain growing heavier with time.
This absolutely certain phase of the danger was so terrible that at
first it almost completely dominated her thoughts. "Oh," she moaned,
"I could see him marry a woman who would make him happy, and yet
survive, but this would be worse than death!"
As she became more calm and could think connectedly, her mind reverted
to what had been said about Henry's financial peril; and while she was
inclined to take the same view as Miss Wildmere, she soon began to see
that her brother-in-law should be informed of all references to him.
Then the impression grew upon her that it would be wisest to tell him
all, and let him save his brother, if possible, from a fate infinitely
worse than lifelong poverty. Would this involve the disclosure to Mr.
Muir of her secret? Sometimes she thought that he half suspected her
already, and she feared that she could scarcely speak of a subject
that touched her heart's interests so closely without revealing to
those keen gray eyes more than she would have them see. But the risk
must be taken to save Graydon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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