A Young Man in a Hurry, and Other Short StoriesChambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
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A Young Man in a Hurry, and Other Short Stories
Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Nothing but a cigarette," muttered Tennant. "I'll go out to the gate if
you--" He hesitated. "They generally sell peanuts out there," he added,
vaguely.
"Squirrels adore peanuts," she murmured, caressing the squirrel, who had
begun fearlessly snooping into her lap.
Tennant, enchanted at the tacit commission, started off at a pace that
brought him to the gate and back again before he could arrange his own
disordered thoughts.
She was reading when he returned, and she cooled his enthusiasm with a
stare of surprise.
"The squirrel? Oh, I'm sure I don't know where that squirrel has gone.
Did you really go all the way to the gate for peanuts to stuff that
overfed squirrel?"
He looked at the four paper bags, opened one of them, and stirred the
nuts with his hand.
"What shall I do with them?" he asked.
Then, and neither ever knew exactly why, she began to laugh. The first
laugh was brief; an oppressive silence followed--then she laughed
again; and as he grew redder and redder, she laughed the most
deliciously fresh peal of laughter he had ever heard.
"This is dreadful!" she said. "I should never have come alone to the
Park! You should never have dared to speak to me. All we need to do now
is to eat those peanuts, and you have all the material for a picture of
courtship below-stairs! Oh, dear, and the worst part of it all is that I
laugh!"
"If you'd let me sit down," he said, "I'd complete the picture and eat
peanuts."
"You dare not!"
He seated himself, opened a paper bag, and deliberately cracked and ate
a nut.
"Horrors! and disillusion! The idol of the public--munching peanuts!"
"You ought to try one," he said.
She stood it for a while; but the saving grace of humour warned her of
her peril, and she ate a peanut.
"To save my face," she explained. "But I didn't suppose you were capable
of it."
"As a matter of fact," he said, tranquilly, "a man can do anything in
this world if he only does it thoroughly and appears to enjoy himself.
I've seen the Prince Regent of Boznovia sitting at the window of the
Crown Regiment barracks arrayed in his shirt-sleeves and absorbing beer
and pretzels."
"But _he_ was the Prince Regent!"
"And I'm Tennant."
"According to that philosophy you are at liberty to eat fish with your
knife."
"But I don't want to."
"But suppose you did want to?"
"That is neither philosophy nor logic," he insisted; "that is
speculation. May I offer you a stick of old-fashioned circus candy
flavored with wintergreen?"
"You may," she said, accepting it. "If there is any lower depth I may
attain, I'm sure you will suggest it."
"I'll try," he said. Their eyes met for an instant; then hers were
lowered.
Squirrels came in troops; she fed the little, fat scamps to repletion,
and the green lawn was dotted with squirrels all busily burying peanuts
for future consumption. A brilliant peacock appeared, picking his way
towards them, followed by a covey of imbecile peafowl. She fed them
until their crops protruded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
A Young Man in a Hurry, and Other Short Stories — John Shaqi
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