England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Lawyers -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
"It was always rather difficult for Margaret and me to get on together,
even before all that's happened. We didn't make real friends. How could
we now--with sort of official visits like those? Under conditions!
Still, that's not the main thing; that's not what I want you to say to
Godfrey. I don't mean to see her till she's old enough--fully old
enough--to understand what it all means. Then, when she's heard about
it--not from me, I don't want to make a case with her or to try to
justify myself--when Godfrey, or Judith, or even you, have told her, I
want it to be left to her what to do. If she likes to leave it alone,
very good. If she likes to see me, and see if we can make friends, I
shall be ready. There'll be no concealment then, no false pretences,
nothing to puzzle her. Only just what sort of a view she takes of me
herself, when she's old enough." She paused and then asked, "Have they
told her anything yet?"
"Only that you can't come back yet. But I think they mean to tell her
presently that you won't, that--well, that it's all over, you know.
Judith thinks she'll accept that as quite--well, that she won't see
anything very extraordinary about it--won't know what it means, you
see."
"Do you think she misses me much?"
"No, I don't think so. She and her father are becoming very great
friends. I think she's happy."
"You've been there a lot?"
"Yes, a good deal."
"I saw your mother's death in the paper. I'm sorry, Arthur."
"They make me quite at home at Hilsey. They've given me a den of my
own."
"And Godfrey?"
"He's very cheerful, with his walks and his books--and, as I say, with
Margaret."
"You're looking very thoughtful, Arthur. What are you thinking of? Do
you think me wrong about Margaret? I shall hear of her, you know. I
shall know how she's getting on; Judith will tell me--and Esther. You
can too."
"It's all so strange!" he broke out. "The way you've just--vanished! And
yet the house goes on!"
She nodded. "And goes on pretty well?" she hazarded, with raised brows
and a little smile. He made a restless impatient gesture, but did not
refuse assent. "Well, if there's anything to be said for me, there it
is! Because it means that I was a failure."
"You weren't the only failure, Bernadette."
"No, I wasn't. It was all a failure--all round--except you; you got on
with all of us. Well, when things are like that, and then somebody comes
and--and shows you something quite different, and makes--yes, makes--you
look at it--well, when once you do, you can't look at anything else. It
swallows up everything."
She fell into silence. Arthur moved from the mantelpiece, and sat down
in a chair by her side, whence he watched her delicate profile as she
gazed into the fire thoughtfully. He waited for her to go on--to take up
the story from the day when the long failure came to its violent end,
from the morning of her flight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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