Catholics -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Sin -- Christianity -- Fiction
On such and such a day, on awaking, he had beheld a bright flood of
light which had steeped him in joy. On such and such an evening as he
closed the door of his cell he had felt warm hands clasping his neck
so lovingly that he had lost consciousness, and had afterwards found
himself on the floor weeping and choked by sobs. Again, at other
times, especially in the little archway leading to the chapel, he had
surrendered himself to supple arms which raised him from the ground. All
heaven had then been concerned in him, had moved round him, and imparted
to his slightest actions a peculiar sense, an astonishing perfume, which
seemed to cling faintly to his clothes, to his very skin. And again,
he remembered the Thursday walks. They started at two o’clock for some
verdant nook about three miles from Plassans. Often they sought a meadow
on the banks of the Viorne, where the gnarled willows steeped their
leaves in the stream. But he saw nothing--neither the big yellow flowers
in the meadow, nor the swallows sipping as they flew by, with wings
lightly touching the surface of the little river. Till six o’clock,
seated in groups beneath the willows, his comrades and himself recited
the Office of the Virgin in common, or read in pairs the ‘Little Hours,’
the book of prayers recommended to young seminarists, but not enjoined
on them.
Abbé Mouret smiled as he stirred the burning embers of his vine-stock
fire. In all that past he only found great purity and perfect obedience.
He had been a lily whose sweet scent had charmed his masters. He could
not recall a single bad action. He had never taken advantage of the
absolute freedom of those walks, when the two prefects in charge would
go off to have a chat with a parish priest in the neighbourhood, or to
have a smoke behind a hedge, or to drink beer with a friend. Never had
he hidden a novel under his mattress, nor a bottle of _anisette_ in
a cupboard. For a long time, even, he had had no suspicion of the
sinfulness around him--of the wings of chicken and the cakes smuggled
into the seminary in Lent, of the guilty letters brought in by servers,
of the abominable conversations carried on in whispers in certain
corners of the courtyard. He had wept hot tears when he first perceived
that few among his fellows loved God for His own sake. There were
peasants’ sons there who had taken orders simply through their terror
of conscription, sluggards who dreamed of a career of idleness, and
ambitious youths already agitated by a vision of the staff and the
mitre. And when he found the world’s wickedness reappearing at the
altar’s very foot, he had withdrawn still further into himself, giving
himself still more to God, to console Him for being forsaken.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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