"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories A COLLECTION OF THE BEST STORIES TOLD BY LINCOLN WHICH MADE HIM FAMOUS AS AMERICA'S BEST STORY TELLER Compiled by R. D. WORDSWORTH THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY Publishers BOSTON, MASS. COMPILED, 1908, FOR THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY "ABE" LINCOLN'S ANECDOTES AND STORIES [Illustration] =A FUN-LOVING AND HUMOR-LOVING MAN= It was once said of Shakespeare that the great mind that conceived the tragedies of "Hamlet," "Macbeth," etc., would have lost its reason if it had not found vent in the sparkling humor of such comedies as "The Merry Wives of Windsor" and "The Comedy of Errors." The great strain on the mind of Abraham Lincoln produced by four years of civil war might likewise have overcome his reason had it not found vent in the yarns and stories he constantly told. No more fun-loving or humor-loving man than Abraham Lincoln ever lived. He enjoyed a joke even when it was on himself, and probably, while he got his greatest enjoyment from telling stories, he had a keen appreciation of the humor in those that were told him. =MATRIMONIAL ADVICE= For a while during the Civil War, General Fremont was without a command. One day in discussing Fremont's case with George W. Julian, President Lincoln said he did not know where to place him, and that it reminded him of the old man who advised his son to take a wife, to which the young man responded: "All right; whose wife shall I take?" =A SLOW HORSE= On one occasion when Mr. Lincoln was going to attend a political convention one of his rivals, a liveryman, provided him with a slow horse, hoping that he would not reach his destination in time. Mr. Lincoln got there, however, and when he returned with the horse he said: "You keep this horse for funerals, don't you?" "Oh, no," replied the liveryman. "Well, I'm glad of that, for if you did you'd never get a corpse to the grave in time for the resurrection." =A VAIN GENERAL= In an interview between President Lincoln and Petroleum V. Nasby, the name came up of a recently deceased politician of Illinois whose merit was blemished by great vanity. His funeral was very largely attended. "If General ---- had known how big a funeral he would have had," said Mr. Lincoln, "he would have died years ago." =HAD CONFIDENCE IN HIM--"BUT"--= "General Blank asks for more men," said Secretary of War Stanton to the President one day, showing the latter a telegram from the commander named, appealing for re-enforcements. "I guess he's killed off enough men, hasn't he?" queried the President. "I don't mean Confederates--our own men. What's the use in sending volunteers down to him if they're only used to fill graves?" "His dispatch seems to imply that, in his opinion, you have not the confidence in him he thinks he deserves," the War Secretary went on to say, as he looked over the telegram again.