Country life -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction
It was gall and bitterness to him to recall her standing up to confront
him with her clear quiet eyes fixed upon him, searching out his
meanness, and of her lover with his hand resting on her shoulder to show
that it was he in whom she could place her confidence to protect her
against the claims of an unworthy jealousy. And he touched the bottom of
the cup when he figured them reading his letter together and accepting
his compact because he was not worth while their making trouble about,
his sting once drawn; and not at all because they believed in its
sincerity. They would know well enough why he had written it, especially
in the light of his wife's ignorance of what had happened, which he
would not be able to prevent her showing them. That ignorant
loud-mannered young man who had to be apologised to, in such a way that
he could hardly accept the apology without feeling if not showing
contempt! It shook him with passion to think of his degradation before
him, and of what was being given to him so beautifully and freely. There
was not in his thoughts a vestige of the feeling that he would have to
act before the world--of pleasure that the girl towards whom he claimed
to have given nothing but protecting affection should have found her
happiness in a promising love. It was all black jealousy and resentment
on his own behalf, and resentment against her as well as against the man
whom she had chosen for herself.
And yet by the next morning he had persuaded himself that some of those
feelings which he would have to act were really his. Perhaps in some
sense they were, for right feelings can be induced where the necessity
for them is recognised, and his affection for Mollie had actually
included those elements which he had so steadfastly kept in the
foreground. Also, his arrogance and self-satisfaction had prevented him
in his bitterest moments from recognising all the baseness in himself,
and gave him a poor support in thinking that, after all, his letter
showed manliness and generosity, and might be accepted so. He had, at
any rate, to keep up his front before the world, and by the time he met
and talked to the Graftons between their house and the church his good
opinion of himself had begun to revive. He was still troubled with fears
as to how his overtures would be received. Mollie would have received
his letter early that morning, and might have come over with her answer;
but she had evidently waited to consult over it with her lover. He had
prevented his wife running over to the Cottage, saying that they would
meet Mollie either before or after church. And so it had to be left,
with tremors and deceptions that, one would have thought, must have
disturbed him greatly in the duties he would have to fulfil before his
parishioners. Yet he preached a sermon about the approaching festival of
the church, which denoted in his view, amongst other things, that the
evil passions under which mankind had laboured since the creation of the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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