London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century
heart; something pure and beautiful for which to labour and live; and the
woman, what a purple light it sheds upon her path; it makes life for her
no day-dream; no idle hour; no painted shadow; no passing show; but
something real, earnest, worthy of her heart and head. But most of us
are cowards and dare not think so; we lack grace; we are of little faith;
our inward eye is dim and dark. The modern young lady must marry in
style; the modern young gentleman marries a fortune. But in the
meanwhile the girl grows into an old maid, and the youth takes
chambers—ogles at nursery-maids and becomes a man about town—a man whom
it is dangerous to ask into your house, for his business is intrigue.
The world might have had a happy couple; instead, it gets a woman
fretful, nervous, fanciful, a plague to all around her. He becomes a
sceptic in all virtue; a corrupter of the youth of both sexes; a curse in
whatever domestic circle he penetrates. Even worse may result. She may
be deceived, and may die of a broken heart. He may rush from one folly
to another; associate only with the vicious and depraved; bring disgrace
and sorrow on himself and all around; and sink into an early grave. Our
great cities show what becomes of men and women who do not marry.
Worldly fathers and mothers advise not to marry till they can afford to
keep a wife, and the boys spend on a harlot more in six months than would
keep a wife six years. Hence it is, all wise men (like old Franklin)
advocate early marriages; and that all our great men, with rare
exceptions, have been men who married young. Wordsworth had only £100 a
year when he first married. Lord Eldon was so poor that he had to go to
Clare-market to buy sprats for supper. Coleridge and Southey I can’t
find had any income at all when they got married. I question at any time
whether Luther had more than fifty pounds a year. Our successful men in
trade and commerce marry young, like George Stephenson, and the wife
helps him up in the world in more ways than one. Dr. Smiles, in his
little book on Self-Help, gives us the following anecdote respecting J.
Flaxman and his wife—“Ann Denham was the name of his wife—and a cheery,
bright-souled, noble woman she was. He believed that in marrying her he
should be able to work with an intenser spirit; for, like him, she had a
taste for poetry and art! and, besides, was an enthusiastic admirer of
her husband’s genius. Yet when Sir Joshua Reynolds—himself a
bachelor—met Flaxman shortly after his marriage, he said to him, ‘So,
Flaxman, I am told you are married; if so, sir, I tell you, you are
ruined for an artist.’ Flaxman went straight home, sat down beside his
wife, took her hand in his, and said, ‘Ann, I am ruined for an artist.’
‘How so, John? How has it happened? And who has done it?’ ‘It
happened,’ he replied, ‘in the church; and Ann Denham has done it.’ He
then told her of Sir Joshua’s remark—whose opinion was well known, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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