English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
“I fail to understand,” answered the Angel. “Where is all the rural
population, where the mansions of the great, the thriving farmer, the
contented peasant, the labourer about to have his minimum wage, the
Old, the Merrie England of 1910?”
“That,” responded his dragoman somewhat dramatically, extending his
hand towards the old man, “_that_ is the rural population, and he a
cockney hardened in the Great Skirmish, or he could never have stayed
the course.”
“What!” said the Angel; “is no food grown in all this land?”
“Not a cabbage,” replied his dragoman; “not a mustard and
cress--outside the towns, that is.”
“I perceive,” said the Angel, “that I have lost touch with much that
is of interest. Give me, I pray, a brief sketch of the agricultural
movement.”
“Why, sir,” replied his dragoman, “the agricultural movement in this
country since the days of the Great Skirmish, when all were talking of
resettling the land, may be summed up in two words: ‘Town expansion.’
In order to make this clear to you, however, I must remind you of the
political currents of the past thirty years. You will not recollect
that during the Great Skirmish, beneath the seeming absence of
politics, there were germinating the Parties of the future. A secret
but resolute intention was forming in all minds to immolate those
who had played any part in politics before and during the important
world-tragedy which was then being enacted, especially such as
continued to hold portfolios, or persisted in asking questions in the
House of Commons, as it was then called. It was not that people held
them to be responsible, but nerves required soothing, and there is no
anodyne, as you know, sir, equal to human sacrifice. The politician
was, as one may say--‘off.’ No sooner, of course, was peace declared
than the first real General Election was held, and it was with a
certain chagrin that the old Parties found themselves in the soup. The
Parties which had been forming beneath the surface swept the country:
one called itself the Patriotic, and was called by its opponents
the Prussian Party; the other called itself the Laborious, and was
called by its opponents the Loafing Party. Their representatives were
nearly all new men. In the first flush of peace, with which the human
mind ever associates plenty, they came out on such an even keel that
no Government could pass anything at all. Since, however, it was
imperative to find the interest on a National Debt of £8,000,000,000, a
further election was needed. This time, though the word Peace remained,
the word Plenty had already vanished; and the Laborious Party, which,
having much less to tax, felt that it could tax more freely, found
itself in an overwhelming majority. You will be curious to hear,
sir, of what elements this Party was composed. Its solid bulk were
the returned soldiers, and the other manual workers of the country;
but to this main body there was added a rump, of pundits, men of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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