“Not a Christian nation,” replied his dragoman; “nor have they the dirt to contend with which is conspicuous here. Let us do justice to the discouragement which dogs the ablutions of such as know they will soon be dirty again. It was confidently supposed, at the time of the Great Skirmish, which introduced military discipline and so entirely abolished caste, that the habit of washing would at last become endemic throughout the whole population. Judge how surprised were we of that day when the facts turned out otherwise. Instead of the Laborious washing more, the Patriotic washed less. It may have been the higher price of soap, or merely that human life was not very highly regarded at the time. We cannot tell. But not until military discipline disappeared, and caste was restored, which happened the moment peace returned, did the survivors of the Patriotic begin to wash immoderately again, leaving the Laborious to preserve a level more suited to democracy.” “Talking of levels,” said the Angel; “is the populace increasing in stature?” “Oh, no, indeed!” responded his dragoman; “the latest statistics give a diminution of one inch and a half during the past generation.” “And in longevity?” asked the Angel. “As to that, babies and old people are now communally treated, and all those diseases which are curable by lymph are well in hand.” “Do people, then, not die?” “Oh, yes, sir! About as often as before. There are new complaints which redress the balance.” “And what are those?” “A group of diseases called for convenience Scienticitis. Some think they come from the present food system; others from the accumulation of lymphs in the body; others, again, regard them as the result of dwelling on the subject--a kind of hypnotisation by death; a fourth school hold them traceable to town air; while a fifth consider them a mere manifestation of jealousy on the part of Nature. They date, one may say with confidence, from the time of the Great Skirmish, when men’s minds were turned with some anxiety to the question of statistics, and babies were at a premium.” “Is the population, then, much larger?”