"Upon one occasion," continued Grant, "when the President was at my
head-quarters at City Point, I took him to see the work that had been
done on the Dutch Gap Canal. After taking him around and showing him all
the points of interest, explaining how, in blowing up one portion of the
work that was being excavated, the explosion had thrown the material
back into, and filled up, a part already completed, he turned to me and
said, 'Grant, do you know what this reminds me of? Out in Springfield,
Illinois, there was a blacksmith named ----. One day, when he did not
have much to do, he took a piece of soft iron that had been in his shop
for some time, and for which he had no special use, and, starting up
his fire, began to heat it. When he got it hot he carried it to the
anvil and began to hammer it, rather thinking he would weld it into an
agricultural implement. He pounded away for some time until he got it
fashioned into some shape, when he discovered that the iron would not
hold out to complete the implement he had in mind. He then put it back
into the forge, heated it up again, and recommenced hammering, with an
ill-defined notion that he would make a claw hammer, but after a time he
came to the conclusion that there was more iron there than was needed
to form a hammer. Again he heated it, and thought he would make an axe.
After hammering and welding it into shape, knocking the oxidized iron
off in flakes, he concluded there was not enough of the iron left to
make an axe that would be of any use. He was now getting tired and a
little disgusted at the result of his various essays. So he filled his
forge full of coal, and, after placing the iron in the centre of the
heap, took the bellows and worked up a tremendous blast, bringing the
iron to a white heat. Then with his tongs he lifted it from the bed of
coals, and thrusting it into a tub of water near by, exclaimed with an
oath, "Well, if I can't make anything else of you, I will make a fizzle,
anyhow."'"
A friend once asked Lincoln whether the story was true that he had
inquired where General Grant got his liquor, so that he might send a
barrel to each of his other generals. Lincoln replied that the story
originated in King George's time. When General Wolfe was accused of
being mad, the King replied, "I wish he would bite some of my other
generals."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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