"Well," said the President, "I will tell you." Assuming an air of great
mystery, and drawing the man close to him, he kept him waiting the
revelation with great anxiety, and then said in a loud whisper, which
was heard all over the room, "The expedition has gone to--sea."
A gentleman asked Lincoln to give him a pass through the Federal lines
in order to visit Richmond. "I should be very happy to oblige you," said
the President, "if my passes were respected; but the fact is, within the
past two years I have given passes to Richmond to two hundred and fifty
thousand men and not one has got there yet."
A New York firm applied to Lincoln some years before he became President
for information as to the financial standing of one of his neighbors.
This was the answer:
"Yours of the 10th received. First of all, he has a wife
and baby; together they ought to be worth $500,000 to any man.
Secondly, he has an office in which there is a table worth
$1.50 and three chairs worth, say, $1. Last of all there is
in one corner a large rat hole, which will bear looking into.
Respectfully,
"A. LINCOLN."
A certain Senator once called at the White House to persuade Lincoln
to issue an order to the Secretary of War to pay a constituent of his
a considerable sum of money for services which clearly he had not
rendered, the amount being claimed on the ground that he would have
rendered them if he had been permitted to do so. Lincoln heard the
statement of facts and the argument with his usual patience and rendered
his decision as follows:
"Years ago when imprisonment for debt was legal in some States a
poor fellow was sent to jail by his creditors and compelled to serve
out his debt at the rate of a dollar and a half per day. Knowing the
exact amount of the debt, he carefully calculated the time he would be
required to serve. When the sentence had expired he informed his jailer
of the fact, and asked to be released. The jailer insisted upon keeping
him four days longer. Upon making up his statement, however, he found
that the man was right, and that he had served four days longer than
his sentence required. The prisoner then demanded not only a receipt
in full of his debt, but also payment for four days' extra service,
amounting to six dollars, which he declared the county owed him.
"Now," said Lincoln, "I think your client has just about as good a claim
for the money as he had."
"I am very much of your opinion, Mr. President," said the Senator,
soberly, as he retired.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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