Abraham Lincoln: The True Story of a Great Life, Volume 1 (of 2)Herndon, William Henry
History
Abraham Lincoln: The True Story of a Great Life, Volume 1 (of 2)
Herndon, William Henry
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865
"This thing of living in Springfield is rather a dull business after
all--at least it is so to me. I am quite as lonesome here as [I] ever
was anywhere in my life. I have been spoken to by but one woman since
I've been here, and should not have been by her if she could have
avoided it. I've never been to church yet, and probably shall not be
soon. I stay away because I am conscious I should not know how to behave
myself. I am often thinking of what we said of your coming to live at
Springfield. I am afraid you would not be satisfied. There is a great
deal of flourishing about in carriages here, which it would be your
doom to see without sharing in it. You would have to be poor without
the means of hiding your poverty. Do you believe you could bear that
patiently? Whatever woman may cast her lot with mine, should anyone ever
do so, it is my intention to do all in my power to make her happy and
contented, and there is nothing I can imagine that would make me more
unhappy than to fail in the effort. I know I should be much happier with
you than the way I am, provided I saw no signs of discontent in you.
"What you have said to me may have been in jest or I may have
misunderstood it. If so, then let it be forgotten; if otherwise I much
wish you would think seriously before you decide. For my part I have
already decided. What I have said I will most positively abide by,
provided you wish it. My opinion is you had better not do it. You have
not been accustomed to hardship, and it may be more severe than you
imagine. I know you are capable of thinking correctly on any subject;
and if you deliberate maturely upon this before you decide, then I am
willing to abide your decision.
"You must write me a good long letter after you get this. You have
nothing else to do, and though it might not seem interesting to you
after you have written it, it would be a good deal of company in this
busy wilderness. Tell your sister I don't want to hear any more about
selling out and moving. That gives me the hypo whenever I think of it.
"Yours, etc.
"Lincoln."
Very few if any men can be found who in fond pursuit of their love would
present their case voluntarily in such an unfavorable light. In one
breath he avows his affection for the lady whose image is constantly
before him, and in the next furnishes her reasons why she ought not
to marry him! During the warm, dry summer months he kept up the siege
without apparent diminution of zeal. He was as assiduous as ever, and
in August was anxious to force a decision. On the 16th he had a meeting
with her which terminated much like a drawn battle--at least it seems
to have afforded him but little encouragement, for on his return to
Springfield he immediately indulged in an epistolary effusion stranger
than any that preceded it.
"Friend Mary:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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