"Well, there might be a railroad wreck. If I'm killed I don't want this thing to be found on me. When they went through my clothes and ran across this they'd say: 'Oh, this doesn't matter. It's all right. He's just some poor boob that's been to Battle Creek.'" * * * * * When we got out of the hack at the station before leaving Battle Creek, I asked the hackman how the town got its name. He didn't know. So, after buying the tickets, I went and asked Miss Daisy Buck. "I suppose," I said, "there was some battle here, beside some creek, wasn't there?" But for once Miss Buck failed me. "You can search _me_," she replied. Then: "Did you lunch at the 'San'?" We admitted it. "How did you like it?" We informed her. "What did you eat--Mercerized hay?" "No; mostly Nuttolene." She sighed. Then: "What town are you making next?" she asked. "Kalamazoo," I said. "Oh, Ka'zoo, eh? What line are you gen'l'men travelling in?" "I'm a writer," I replied, "and my friend here is an artist. We're going around the country gathering material for a book." In answer to this statement, Miss Buck simply winked one eye as one who would say: "You're some little liar, ain't you?" "It's true," I said. "Oh, sure!" said Miss Buck, and let one eyelid fall again. "When the book appears," I continued, "you will find that it contains an interview with you." "Also a picture of you and the news stand," my companion added. Then we heard the train. Taking up our suit cases, we thanked Miss Buck for the assistance she had rendered us. "I'm sure you're quite welcome," she replied. "I meet all kinds here--including kidders." That was some months ago. No doubt Miss Buck may have forgotten us by now. But when she sees this--as, being a news-stand lady, I have reason to hope she will--I trust she may remember, and admit that truth has triumphed in the end. CHAPTER IX KALAMAZOO I had but one reason for visiting Kalamazoo: the name has always fascinated me with its zoölogical suggestion and even more with its rich, rhythmic measure. Indian names containing "K's" are almost always striking: Kenosha, Kewanee, Kokomo, Keokuk, Kankakee. Of these, the last two, having the most "K's" are most effective. Next comes Kokomo with two "K's." But Kalamazoo, though it has but one "K," seems to me to take first place among them all, phonetically, because of the finely assorted sound contained in its four syllables. There is a kick in its "K," a ring in its "L," a buzz in its "Z," and a glorious hoot in its two final "O's." I wish here to protest against the abbreviated title frequently bestowed upon the town by newspapers in Detroit and other neighboring cities. They call it "Ka'zoo."