England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Spiritualism -- Fiction
Archie chattered for a little while, comparing the moon to a clipped
finger-nail, the dimmed mirror of the lake to a frozen rink in
Switzerland, with all the hollowness of superficial talk, when the
tongue speaks from habit, which is as lightly rooted as the seed on
stony ground. Heart-whole, he had often chattered like that, and Jessie
had sunned herself and responded to those silly things; but now she
knew, as well as he, that the babble was no more than blown sea-foam. It
made her heart ache that he should talk it to her, for, though she made
no claim on his love, it was miserable that he could not recognize how
true a friend it was who was by his side in this song-haunted darkness.
She knew--none better--that he had no love to give her, but her love
that was so disciplined to go hungry without crying out, starved for a
word from him that should fly the flag of friendship, noblest of all
ensigns that are not of royal emblazonment.
They had come to the edge of the lake, and a moor-hen steered its
water-logged flight across the surface. And then Archie's foolish
chatter died, and he was silent as he watched the rayed ripple of water.
The wash died away in the reeds, and chuckled on the bank, and at last
he spoke.
"Why did Helena treat me like that?" he said. "It wasn't fair on me. Why
did she encourage me? She might so easily have shown me that she didn't
care. She knew: don't tell me she didn't know! Do answer me. Didn't she
know? All the time that we were in town together she knew. And she let
me go on. She was waiting to see if she could catch the Bradshaw. If she
couldn't, perhaps she would have taken me. Was it so? You ought to know:
you're her sister."
His voice had risen from the first reproach of his speech to a fury of
indignation.
"Did she love me or didn't she?" he cried. "Do tell me if you know."
His passion had found combustible material in her: she flamed with it.
"Helena doesn't love anybody," she said. "Oh, Archie, poor Helena!"
"Poor Helena!" said he. "Why 'poor'? Surely it's far more comfortable to
love nobody. Oh, don't remind me of that stupid rot about it being
better to have loved and lost. Anyhow, a worse thing is to have loved
and not found. That's what has happened to me, and she made me think I
had found. She meant to make me think that. Damned well she succeeded,
too. And, if you're right about her not loving anybody, do you mean that
she doesn't love the Bradshaw?"
Archie had closed a grip on her arm: now she shook his hand off, though
loving to have it there.
"I can't answer you that," she said. "And I oughtn't to have said that
Helena loves nobody. I withdraw that entirely."
"The saying of it, you mean," said he. "You don't withdraw your belief
in it."
"I don't know the truth of it. What I said was only my opinion, and I
withdraw it. I oughtn't to have said it."
"But you keep your opinion?" asked he.
"You shouldn't ask me that. I have withdrawn what I said. Please accept
that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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