Ada, the Betrayed; Or, The Murder at the Old Smithy. A Romance of PassionRymer, James Malcolm
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Ada, the Betrayed; Or, The Murder at the Old Smithy. A Romance of Passion
Rymer, James Malcolm
English fiction -- 19th century; Penny dreadfuls
When Ada, the beautiful and persecuted child of the dead, passed from
the room in the garments befitting her sex, she thought her heart must
burst with the suppressed feelings which were conjured up in its inmost
recesses. One awful question occurred to her to be traced in letters of
liquid fire upon her brain, and that was: “Is it true that Jacob Gray
is my father?” His assertion of the fact had come upon her so entirely
unawares that, as Gray had himself exultingly supposed, she had not
time to think—but the doubt—the merest suspicion that it might true,
was madness. Ada did not—she could not, even at the moment that Gray
declared himself her father, believe his words; but still the doubt was
raised, and although all reason—all probability—all experience gave the
lie to the assertion, there was still the awful intrusive thought that
it might be so.
Upon the impulse of that small possibility, that in that moment of
despair and agony of soul Jacob Gray had spoken truly, Ada acted. She
could not run the dreadful risk of sacrificing even a brutal and
criminal father, and with a speed that in her state of mind was
marvellous, she altered herself, in her girl’s clothing, and, as we
have seen, for the time, saved Jacob Gray from death.
As she descended the narrow, dilapidated staircase, she pressed her
hands convulsively upon her heart to still its tumultuous beatings. Her
position in life appeared to her to be all at once strangely altered.
If—and oh! That horrid if,—if conveying as it did a possibility of the
fact—if Jacob Gray was really her father!—What was she now to do?—How
think of him?—How address him? Could she ever bestow upon him the
smallest fraction of that dear love which flows in so easy and natural
a current from a child to its parent? Could she call him father?—No,
she felt that she could not. She examined her feelings to endeavour to
detect some yearnings of natural love and duty—some of that undefined,
mysterious instinct she had read of as enabling the parent to single
out the child—the child the parent, from the great mass of humanity;
but the search—the self-examination was in vain. Jacob Gray was to her
but the cruel, vindictive tyrant, rioting in oppression and brutality
when un-resisted, and shrinking from her like a beaten hound when she
dared to confront him, and question his acts.
“God of Heaven!” she said, when she had reached the street; “there
should be some similarity of thought, some community of feeling between
a father and his child. Do I and Jacob Gray think alike in anything?
Have we one feeling in common?—No,—not one.”
As the probabilities of his not being her father crowded upon her mind,
now that the intense excitement of the minute was over, Ada became more
happy and composed, and she slackened her pace, seeing that she had
already placed a considerable distance between herself and the house
which had been to her a prison for so long a period.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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