'My feelings are more tolerable, at least,' replied Glenmurray: and
Adeline and the mulatto began to prepare the dinner immediately. How
often during her attendance on Glenmurray had she recollected the words
of her grandmother, and blessed her for having taught her to be
_useful_!
As soon as dinner was over, Glenmurray complained of being drowsy: still
he declared he would not go to bed till he had seen the sun set, as he
had that day, for the second time since his illness, seen it rise; and
therefore, when it was setting, Adeline and Savanna led him into a room
adjoining, which had a western aspect. Glenmurray fixed his eyes on
the crimson horizon with a peculiar expression; and his lips seemed to
murmur, 'For the last time! Let me breathe the evening air, too, once
more,' said he.
'It is too chill, dear Glenmurray.'
'It will not hurt me,' replied Glenmurray; and Adeline complied with his
request.
'The breeze of evening is not refreshing like that of morning,' he
observed; 'but the beauty of the setting is, perhaps, superior to that
of the rising sun:--they are both glorious sights, and I have enjoyed
them both to-day, nor have I for years experienced so strong a feeling
of devotion.'
'Thank God!' cried Adeline. 'O Glenmurray! there has been one thing only
wanting to the completion of our union; and that was, that we should
worship together.'
'Perhaps, had I remained longer here,' replied Glenmurray, 'we might
have done so; for, believe me, Adeline, though my feelings have
continually hurried me into adoration of the Supreme Being, I have often
wished my homage to be as regular and as founded on immutable conviction
as it once was: but it is too late now for amendment, though, alas! not
for _regret_, _deep_ regret: yet He who reads the heart knows that my
intentions were pure, and that I was not fixed in the stubbornness of
error.'
'Let us change this discourse,' cried Adeline, seeing on Glenmurray's
countenance an expression of uncommon sadness, which he, from a regard
to her feelings, struggled to cover. He did indeed feel sadness--a
sadness of the most painful nature; and while Adeline hung over him with
all the anxious and soothing attention of unbounded love, he seemed to
shrink from her embrace with horror, and, turning away his head, feebly
murmured. 'O Adeline! this faithful kindness wounds me to the very soul.
Alas! alas! how little have I deserved it!'
If Glenmurray, who had been the means of injuring the woman he loved,
merely by following the dictates of his conscience, and a love of what
he imagined to be truth, without any view of his own benefit or the
gratification of his personal wishes, felt thus acutely the anguish of
self-upbraiding,--what ought to be, and what must be, sooner or later,
the agony and remorse of that man, who, merely for the gratification of
his own illicit desires, has seduced the woman whom he loved from the
path of virtue, and ruined for ever her reputation and her peace of
mind!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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