'Oh! pardon me; from decided preference; there is not another being in
the creation whom I could bear to call husband.'
Berrendale, gratified and surprised, attempted to take her hand; but,
withdrawing it, she continued thus;--'Still I almost scruple to let
you, unblasted as your prospects are, take a wife a beggar, blasted in
reputation, broken in spirits, with a heart whose best affections lie
buried in the grave, and which can offer you in return for your faithful
tenderness nothing but cold respect and esteem; one too who is not only
despicable to others, but also self-condemned.'
While Adeline said this, Berrendale, almost shuddering at the picture
which she drew, paced the room in great agitation; and even the
gratification of his passion, used as he was to the indulgence of every
wish, seemed, for a moment, a motive not sufficiently powerful to enable
him to unite his fate to that of a woman so degraded as Adeline appeared
to be; and he would, perhaps, have hesitated to accept the hand she
offered, had she not added, as a contrast to the picture which she had
drawn--'But if, in spite of all these unwelcome considerations, you
persist in your resolution of making me yours, and I have resolution
enough to conquer the repugnance that I feel to make a second connexion,
you may depend on possessing in me one who will study your happiness
and wishes in the minutest particulars;--one who will cherish you in
sickness and in sorrow;--' (here a twinge of the gout assisted Adeline's
appeal very powerfully;) 'and who, conscious of the generosity of your
attachment, and her own unworthiness, will strive, by every possible
effort, not to remain your debtor even in affection.'
Saying this, she put out her hand to Berrendale; and that hand, and
the arm belonging to it, were so beautiful, and he had so often envied
Glenmurray while he saw them tenderly supporting his head, that while a
vision of approaching gout, and Adeline bending over his restless couch,
floated before him, all his prudent considerations vanished; and,
eagerly pressing the proffered hand to his lips, he thanked her most
ardently for her kind promise; and, putting his arm round her waist,
would have pressed her to his bosom.
But the familiarity was ill-timed;--Adeline was already surprised, and
even shocked, at the lengths to which she had gone; and starting almost
with loathing from his embrace, she told him it grew late, and it was
time for him to go to his lodgings. She then retired to her own room,
and spent half the night at least in weeping over the remembrance of
Glenmurray, and in loudly apostrophizing his departed spirit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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