But even the ascertainment of one's relative merits with the gloves hurts a good deal, and one may thank heaven that the fountain of youth (as described by Pontus de Tyarde) is not a common beverage. By drinking this liquid, says the old Frenchman, one is insensibly brought back from old to middle age, and to youth and boyhood. But one would prefer to stop drinking of the fountain before actually being reduced to boy's estate, and passing once more through the tumultuous experiences of that period. And of these, _not having enough to eat_ is by no means the least common. The evidence as to execrable dinners is rather dispiriting, and one may end by saying that if there is a worse fellow than a bully, it is a master who does not see that his boys are supplied with plenty of wholesome food. He, at least, could not venture, like a distinguished headmaster, to preach and publish sermons on "Boys' Life: its Fulness." A schoolmaster who has boarders is a hotel-keeper, and thereby makes his income, but he need not keep a hotel which would be dispraised in guide books. Dinners are a branch of school economy which should not be left to the wives of schoolmasters. _They_ have never been boys. FOOTNOTES {1} "Mauth" is Manx for dog, I am told. {2} It is easy to bear the misfortunes of others. {3} In the third volume of his essays. {4} "I remember I went into the room where my father's body lay, and my mother sat weeping alone by it. I had my battledore in my hand, and fell a-beating the coffin and calling 'Papa,' for I know not how, I had some slight idea that he was locked up there."--STEELE, _The Tatler_, June 6, 1710. {5} Longmans. {6} I like to know what the author got. {7} Salmon roe, I am sorry to say. {8} "Why and Wherefore," Aytoun. {9} _Fersitan legendum_, "Help Thou." {10} I know, now, who Miriam was and who was the haunter of the Catacombs. But perhaps the people is as well without the knowledge of an old and "ower true tale" that shook a throne. {11} Cannot the reader guess? I am afraid that I can! {12} Edinburgh, 1685.