Adventures in SilenceCollingwood, Herbert W. (Herbert Winslow)
Science
Adventures in Silence
Collingwood, Herbert W. (Herbert Winslow)
Deafness
Then there were the two old people who had become estranged. Both were
very deaf, without imagination, and very stubborn. They quarreled
over some trivial misunderstanding, and refused to speak to each
other; for years they had lived in the same house, with never a word
passing between them. Probably the original trouble was due to a
misunderstanding of words, but when the deaf are obstinate and “set in
their ways,” you have the human mind like an oyster depositing a thick
shell of prejudice around the germ of charity and good nature. This is
one reason why they of all people should continuously read good poetry
and stories of human nature; this is their best chance for keeping in
touch with common humanity, and if a man lose the contact he is no
longer a full man.
So these old people lived together and yet never addressed each other.
There was one ear trumpet between them, and they always waited for
visitors to come before trying to communicate. They had been known to
call in some stranger who chanced to be passing in order that he might
act as intermediary. In truth, the old couple still loved each other in
an odd, clumsy fashion, and both would gladly have broken the silence
had not the pride of each refused to “give way.”
One day the neighbor’s boy came to borrow some milk, and both seized
upon him to act as interpreter. He screamed an explanation of his errand
to the old lady.
“Pa tried to milk old Spot, and she kicked him and the pail over. Ma
wants to borry some milk to feed the baby.”
“Tell him to get the pan off the pantry shelf.”
The boy delivered the message and the old man got the milk.
“Tell her I want my dinner.”
The boy did his best to scream this into the lady’s ear, but his feeble
voice cracked under the strain. The listener got only one clear sound.
“Says he’s a miserable sinner, does he? You’re right; he is. I’m glad to
see he’s getting humble. Tell him I’m waiting for dry wood. If I don’t
get it, I’ll raise Cain!”
The boy ran over to the man with this message. The part about the wood
was easy for there was the empty wood box. The rest of the message was
too dull for his ears. So he hunted up pencil and paper and told the boy
to write it out, while his wife sat congratulating herself with:
“Well, I may be kinda deaf; but I ain’t so bad as he is.”
After a protracted struggle with the pencil, the boy produced:
“She says she’ll give you cane.”
“A gold-headed cane. Just what I wanted! ’Pears to me Aunt Mary’s
getting ready to admit she was wrong. You tell her I knew she’d smart
for it!”
The boy went faithfully back across the room and screamed the message,
which she understood to be:
“He knew you’re awful smart!”
There was no question about the pleasure this gave her, but when was any
woman of spirit easily won? She could not give way so quickly.
“You just tell him to keep his soft soap for washing days!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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