AE in the Irish TheosophistRussell, George William
Religion
AE in the Irish Theosophist
Russell, George William
Theosophy
His work over, out into the night he would drag himself wearily--
out into the night anywhere; but there no more than within could
he escape from that power which haunted him with mighty memories,
the scourge which the Infinite wields. Nature has no refuge for
those in whom the fire of spirit has been kindled: earth has no
glory for which it does not know a greater glory. As Harvey passed
down the long streets, twinkling with their myriad lights fading
into blue and misty distances, there rose up before him in the
visionary air solemn rows of sphinxes in serried array, and starlit
pyramids and temples--greatness long dead, a dream that mocked the
lives around him, hoarding the sad small generations of humanity
dwindling away from beauty. Gone was the pure and pale splendour
of the primeval skies and the lustre of the first-born of stars.
But even this memory, which linked him in imagination to the ideal
past, was not always his: he was weighted, like all his race, with
an animal consciousness which cried out fiercely for its proper life,
which thirsted for sensation, and was full of lust and anger. The
darkness was not only about him, but in him, and struggled there
for mastery. It threw up forms of meanness and horrible temptations
which clouded over his soul; their promise was forgetfulness;
they seemed to say: "Satisfy us, and your infinite longing shall
die away: to be of clay is very dull and comfortable; it is the
common lot."
One night, filled with this intolerable pain, as he passed through
the streets he yielded to the temptation to kill out this torturing
consciousness: he accosted one of the women of the streets and
walked away with her. She was full of light prattle, and chattered
on and on. Harvey answered her not a word; he was set on his
stony purpose. Child of the Stars! what had he to do with these
things? He sought only his soul's annihilation. Something in
this terrible silence communicated itself to his companion. She
looked at his face in the light of a lamp; it was white, locked,
and rigid. Child of the Stars, no less, though long forgetful,
she shuddered at this association. She recoiled from him crying
out "You brute--you brute!" and then fled away. The unhappy man
turned homeward and sat in his lonely room with stupid, staring
eyes, fixed on darkness and vacancy until the pale green light of
dawn began to creep in upon him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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