as an encouragement in this hour of decision, and he finally determined
to have done with the crooked life and to give honest living one good,
fair trial.
On leaving prison he did not come to our Headquarters; he had never
met us and did not feel that he had any claim, so he faced his problem
alone and sought to find work for himself. Though a tall, large-boned
man, he was far from strong, for long terms in prison had told upon him
and the seeds of that wretched "prison consumption" that used to be so
prevalent in Sing Sing, had already found fertile soil in his lungs.
The first weeks represented weary hours of tramping back and forth
through the city asking for work, only to meet the same disappointment
everywhere. At last he found a job on Long Island at the work of
putting up telegraph poles. Wet weather came and he caught a violent
cold. The heavy work by day, with the fever and pain at night, told on
him in time and his courage failed. He saw that he could not work on at
that job much longer and if he broke down, what then? Well! he supposed
he must do something for a living, and there was one line of work at
which he knew he was an expert, so he turned back the good leaf and
gave up the struggle. He came to the city and purchased the implements
of an evil trade. The sand bag he made to be used in highway robbery
and the other weapon was to take his own life if he should be detected
in the crime. He was a desperate man, desperate with that desperation
that comes only to those who have tried to do right and found it a
failure. The whole outlook is infinitely darker for the defeated man
than for the one who is carelessly drifting. At nightfall, he went out
to watch for his prey, but unknown to him the angel of the Lord was
with him and he surely heard that voice behind him say, "This is the
way, walk ye in it," when he tried to turn to "the left hand or the
right." God's restraining influence he did not recognize, for he knew
and cared nothing for God. He told me that an unaccountable something
stopped him every time, and then some words that I had spoken in
prison, though he had only received them at second hand, rang in his
ears. I do not know what they were, but it was one of those instances
where the bread cast upon the waters comes back after many days to
bear its unexpected fruit, like the grains of rice that whirl in the
waters of the Nile and some day find a lodgment, and rear above the
muddy stream the harvest of future blessing. So the dreary long night
through, that fight between good and evil raged, and all the time the
weary feet tramped the city streets. When morning came, afraid of
himself, despairing and desperate, he turned to us and asked me to take
the weapons that only meant to him temptation. Hope Hall was not opened
then, but we were looking for a house and I told him of our plans,
assuring him of a hearty welcome when there should be a place for him
to come to. It was wonderful how cheering words and human sympathy
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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