The light of the early winter morning, cold but clear, shone through the
curtained window-panes. Giovanna had fallen asleep the night before
feeling sad,--though Aunt Porredda's outbreak had annoyed rather than
distressed her,--but now, as she looked out and saw the promise
of a bright day for the journey, she felt a sensation of joyous
anticipation.
Yes, she had felt quite melancholy on the previous evening before
falling asleep, thinking of Costantino, and eternity, and her dead
child, and all sorts of depressing things. "I have not a bad heart," she
had reflected. "And God looks into our hearts and judges more by our
intentions than by our actions. I have considered everything,
everything. I was very fond of Costantino, and I cried just as long as I
had any tears to shed. Now I have no more; I don't believe he will ever
come back, and if he does it will not be until we are both old; I can't
go on crying forever. Why should it be my fault if I can't cry now when
I think of him? And then, after all, I am just a creature of flesh and
blood, like every one else; I am poor and exposed to sin and temptation,
and in order to save myself from these I am taking the position which
God has provided for me. Yes, my dear Aunt Porredda, I do remember
eternity, and it is to save my soul that I am doing what I am doing--no,
I am not bad; I have not a bad heart." And so she very nearly persuaded
herself that her heart not only was not bad, but that it was quite good
and noble; at least, if this was not the conviction of that innermost
depth of conscience, that depth which refused to lie, and from whence
had issued the disturbing veil of sadness that hung over her, it was of
her outer and more practical mind, and at last, quite comforted, she
fell asleep.
And now the frosty daybreak was striking with its diaphanous
wings--cold and pure as hoarfrost--against the window-panes of the
"strangers' room," and Giovanna thought of the sun and her spirits rose.
The older woman presently awoke as well, and she too turned at once to
the window.
"Ah!" she exclaimed in a tone of satisfaction. "It is going to be fine."
They dressed and went down. Aunt Porredda, polite and attentive as
usual, was already in the kitchen. She served her guests with coffee,
and helped them to saddle the horse. To all appearances she had quite
forgotten the discussion of the previous evening, but no sooner had the
two women passed out the door than she made the sign of the cross, as
though to exorcise the mortal sin as well. "Very good," she said to
herself, closing the door after them. "A pleasant journey to you, and
may the Lord have mercy on your souls!"
Through the crystalline stillness of the morning came the sound of
shrill cock-crowing--close at hand, further away, and further still; but
the little town still slept beneath its canopy of china-blue.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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