Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
Now, also, I never walked home with my pupils: they said their mamma
thought it did not look well to see three people out of the family
walking, and only two going in the carriage; and, as they greatly
preferred walking in fine weather, I should be honoured by going with
the seniors. “And besides,” said they, “you can’t walk as fast as we
do; you know you’re always lagging behind.” I knew these were false
excuses, but I made no objections, and never contradicted such
assertions, well knowing the motives which dictated them. And in the
afternoons, during those six memorable weeks, I never went to church at
all. If I had a cold, or any slight indisposition, they took advantage
of that to make me stay at home; and often they would tell me they were
not going again that day, themselves, and then pretend to change their
minds, and set off without telling me: so managing their departure that
I never discovered the change of purpose till too late. Upon their
return home, on one of these occasions, they entertained me with an
animated account of a conversation they had had with Mr. Weston as they
came along. “And he asked if you were ill, Miss Grey,” said Matilda;
“but we told him you were quite well, only you didn’t want to come to
church—so he’ll think you’re turned wicked.”
All chance meetings on week-days were likewise carefully prevented;
for, lest I should go to see poor Nancy Brown or any other person, Miss
Murray took good care to provide sufficient employment for all my
leisure hours. There was always some drawing to finish, some music to
copy, or some work to do, sufficient to incapacitate me from indulging
in anything beyond a short walk about the grounds, however she or her
sister might be occupied.
One morning, having sought and waylaid Mr. Weston, they returned in
high glee to give me an account of their interview. “And he asked after
you again,” said Matilda, in spite of her sister’s silent but
imperative intimation that she should hold her tongue. “He wondered why
you were never with us, and thought you must have delicate health, as
you came out so seldom.”
“He didn’t Matilda—what nonsense you’re talking!”
“Oh, Rosalie, what a lie! He did, you know; and you said—Don’t,
Rosalie—hang it!—I won’t be pinched so! And, Miss Grey, Rosalie told
him you were quite well, but you were always so buried in your books
that you had no pleasure in anything else.”
“What an idea he must have of me!” I thought.
“And,” I asked, “does old Nancy ever inquire about me?”
“Yes; and we tell her you are so fond of reading and drawing that you
can do nothing else.”
“That is not the case though; if you had told her I was so busy I could
not come to see her, it would have been nearer the truth.”
“I don’t think it would,” replied Miss Murray, suddenly kindling up;
“I’m sure you have plenty of time to yourself now, when you have so
little teaching to do.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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