Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
“No matter; I should like it better if it were a boy—only that its
father will leave it no inheritance that he can possibly squander away.
What pleasure can I have in seeing a girl grow up to eclipse me, and
enjoy those pleasures that I am for ever debarred from? But supposing I
could be so generous as to take delight in this, still it is _only_ a
child; and I can’t centre all my hopes in a child: that is only one
degree better than devoting oneself to a dog. And as for all the wisdom
and goodness you have been trying to instil into me—that is all very
right and proper, I daresay, and if I were some twenty years older, I
might fructify by it: but people must enjoy themselves when they are
young; and if others won’t let them—why, they must hate them for it!”
“The best way to enjoy yourself is to do what is right and hate nobody.
The end of Religion is not to teach us how to die, but how to live; and
the earlier you become wise and good, the more of happiness you secure.
And now, Lady Ashby, I have one more piece of advice to offer you,
which is, that you will not make an enemy of your mother-in-law. Don’t
get into the way of holding her at arms’ length, and regarding her with
jealous distrust. I never saw her, but I have heard good as well as
evil respecting her; and I imagine that, though cold and haughty in her
general demeanour, and even exacting in her requirements, she has
strong affections for those who can reach them; and, though so blindly
attached to her son, she is not without good principles, or incapable
of hearing reason. If you would but conciliate her a little, and adopt
a friendly, open manner—and even confide your grievances to her—real
grievances, such as you have a right to complain of—it is my firm
belief that she would, in time, become your faithful friend, and a
comfort and support to you, instead of the incubus you describe her.”
But I fear my advice had little effect upon the unfortunate young lady;
and, finding I could render myself so little serviceable, my residence
at Ashby Park became doubly painful. But still, I must stay out that
day and the following one, as I had promised to do so: though,
resisting all entreaties and inducements to prolong my visit further, I
insisted upon departing the next morning; affirming that my mother
would be lonely without me, and that she impatiently expected my
return. Nevertheless, it was with a heavy heart that I bade adieu to
poor Lady Ashby, and left her in her princely home. It was no slight
additional proof of her unhappiness, that she should so cling to the
consolation of my presence, and earnestly desire the company of one
whose general tastes and ideas were so little congenial to her own—whom
she had completely forgotten in her hour of prosperity, and whose
presence would be rather a nuisance than a pleasure, if she could but
have half her heart’s desire.
CHAPTER XXIV.
THE SANDS
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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