“I will, I will,” she cried, while into her heart there crept an
intense longing for the love of him who alone could make her task a
light one. “If I were good like grandma, I could bear everything,” she
thought, and turning upon her pillow, Maddy prayed an earnest,
childlike prayer, that God would help her do night, that He would take
from her the proud spirit which rebelled against her lot because of its
loneliness, that pride and love of her own ease and advancement in
preference to others’ good might all be subdued; in short that she
might be God’s child, walking where He appointed her to walk without a
murmur, and doing cheerfully His will.
Aikenside, and school, and the Catskill Mountains were easier to
abandon after that contrite prayer; but when she thought of Guy, the
fiercest, sharpest pang she had ever felt shot through her heart,
making her cry out so quickly that the little hired girl who shared her
bed moved as if about to waken, but Maddy lay very quiet until all was
still again, when turning a second time to God she tried to pray, tried
to give up what to her was the dearest idol, but she could not say the
words, and ere she knew what she was doing she found herself asking
that Guy should not forsake her. “Let him come,” she sobbed, “let Guy
come some time to see me”.
Once the tempter whispered to her, that had she accepted Dr. Holbrook
she would have been spared all this, but Maddy turned a deaf ear to
that suggestion. Dr. Holbrook was too noble a man to have an unloving
wife, and not for a moment did she repent of her decision with regard
to him. She almost knew he would say now that she was right in refusing
him, and right in staying there, as she must. Thoughts of the doctor
quieted her, she believed, not knowing that Heaven was already owning
its submissive child, and breathing upon it a soothing benediction. The
moan of the winter wind and the sound of the snow beating against her
little window ceased to annoy her. Heaven, happiness, Aikenside and
Guy, all seem blended into one great good just within her reach, and
when the long clock below the stairs struck three, she did not hear it,
but with the tear stains upon her face she lay nestled among her
pillows, dreaming that her grandmother had come back from the bright
world of glory to bless her darling child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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